Exactly What I've Been Waiting For

Chapter 19

This was in my drafts for a couple of days now, I just didn't post it because I felt like it wasn't good enough. So soz✌✌✌

-not edited-

It was New Year's Eve, and Jade decided to close down the shop early. Locking the door, she spun around, only to be ambushed by a body in front of her.

"You scared me," she clutched at her chest, trying to calm her erratic heartbeat.

"Sorry," Perrie said. "Are you going to the hospital?" She could see that the brunette was struggling with a few bags -- seven to be exact -- and relieved her of them.

"Thanks. And yeah, I'm going to the hospital. You know, you don't have to be there every day."

"And let you have your dad all to yourself? No way." Perrie's lips curved into a smirk, and the brunette couldn't help but smile. "Now, come on. I'll give you a lift."

Jade spotted her own car just on the other side of the parking, and the blonde's just a couple of feet away. "You do know that I have my own car, right? Black, complete with airbags, heated cushions and winter tires. I can drive myself."

Her statement was ignored, however, because Perrie's trunk was already opened with the bags lined up neatly. Shutting it once she was satisfied with her arrangement, she then opened the passenger door, resting her elbows on top of the window and waited. "Will you just get in? Listen, I'm a nice girl." Jade had to crack a smile. "I offer rides to my friends, especially after knowing what a tough time they've been having. Just get in. Save the planet while you're at it."

Jade rolled her eyes. "Were you always this bossy?"

"Were you always this stubborn?" She shot back, shutting the door once the brunette was settled in.

Jade relaxed in the already warmed seat. Closing her eyes, she listened to the heater rumbling inside. The car smelled like Perrie, she realized. The blonde's scent filled her nostrils, and she breathed her in, missing everything about the girl. How the blonde's arms fit around her, the feel of her breath on her neck. Even the simple things, like thinking about her one moment and then knowing she was coming by in a few hours.

Her thoughts of the blonde were interrupted, however, by the girl herself entering the car. "You ready?"

Jade smiled, "Yeah. Thanks, by the way, for everything. Dad loves seeing you, for some reason," the brunette playfully rolled her eyes and chuckled. "Said something about you making him feel young."

"Well, those magazines that I share with him," Perrie brought her forefinger to her lips as if it was a secret. "Makes him feel like a teenager again."

Jade hit the blonde's arm. "Shut up! But also because you've been there. For me and for everyone else. I know you're busy and everything, but somehow you made it everyday without complaint."

Perrie took her eyes off the road for a second just to give her a nod. "You know I'm always here. I'm not going anywhere."

****
The hospital was buzzing with people -- doctors, nurses, janitors, patients and families. It was loud and surprisingly chaotically controlled. They even had to squeeze into the elevator before arriving to her father's private room.

What Jade witnessed startled her for a split second, though. Seeing her dad, she noticed that he looked paler than yesterday. His skin was undeniably wrinkled as if he had aged ten years in one night. His eyes drooped down and his hands were shaking. Despite the look of everything, however, he still had a smile on his face, which made her smile back. "Hi, Dad!" She walked on over and gave him a loud kiss on his cheek.

Jade moved on to the rest of the family. "You guys wanna take up more room?" She joked, hugging her sister in law.

"Hey, it was perfectly fine until you ambushed us with all these bags. Now there's less oxygen to breathe in," Shireen jokingly breathed.

"Har-har. I'm going to talk to the doctors." Jade smiled.

"I think they're saving the bigger rooms for more important people. Jade Thirlwall -- florist -- didn't make the cut."

She playfully scowled at Shireen before walking out of the room. The past couple of days, she spoke to the doctors about her father's condition. It didn't matter if there was no change, she just needed to know everything. Seeing that the doctor's door was open, she knocked to get the doctor's attention.

Doctor Niles was on the phone, but waved for the brunette to enter. "I'll call you as soon as I'm off here, baby. Okay, I'll see you tonight. Give Daddy a kiss for me. I love you too. Bye bye." Jade had to smile. "My daughter. Can't wait for Mommy to go home and celebrate the New Year."

"I remember calling my Dad when he was late for something. He'd make the same promise." Jade shared, "How is he? I hardly recognized him when I walked in the room."

There was a pause, which was never a good sign. "I promised I wouldn't lie to you. There's sugar coating in it, sweetheart. He has reached the end."

Hearing the news, Jade had to take a deep breath and blew it out hard. "You said weeks; it's hardly been two weeks."

Doctor Niles nodded. "I know. But I also told you that there's no way to predict such things. It's all about him and his body. The cancer's just spreading fast and the medications only take away the pain, but it doesn't stop the disease. Jade...I'm so sorry."

"Does he know?"

"He knows. I think he has known it longer than we've known. Last week, we had doubled his dosage, ran more tests, put him on more morphine, but science can only go so far in this case."

She bit her lip. "What do we do?"

"Make the most of tonight. Celebrate the New Year, have fun. That's what he wants. It's the only thing you can give him.

"You mean the last thing.

The doctor sighed. "This is the moment that you've all been waiting for. There's no more time to dwell on what could've been, or what you would've done differently. I know it's hard, but you have to enjoy the night. For his sake."

Jade understood the words being said, but didn't understand. "How long?" She asked, her voice breaking.

"Wednesday is pushing it."

"It's Monday," Jade looked up to meet the doctor's eyes. "Barely, it's almost Tuesday."

"This might not mean anything to you, but he loves you. He's been so strong through everything, and do you want to know what he said during this, the entire time? He said that it was his family that made him accept it. James accepted his fate, he came in peace with it because of you and your family. Don't think of him dying as a negative thing. He had a good life; he had you. If it wasn't for you, he wouldn't have held on for this long. Remember that."

In that moment, a nurse appeared in the doorway and asked for Doctor Niles' assistance. "Thank you," Jade took her hand in a grand gesture of sincerity. "Thank you so much."

The doctor nodded and left.

***
Jade, herself, did not know what to do. She barely made it to the room before breaking down all over again. She desperately tried to grab on hold onto the walls, struggling to hold herself up. Her sobs were eating their way out, escaping in short, loud gasps. It was the first time she knew what it felt like to have her heart breaking. The tearing; the ripping; the feeling of it never stopping. With her eyes closed, her fingers slid down the wall, bringing her body down with them. Her mind was like a blackhole, sucking the life out of her. She felt alone, and scared, and surprised how fast these emotions struck her like lightning.

Just as her body almost touched the ground, hitting rock bottom; she was caught. With arms pulling her up, holding her, and supporting her weight; she opened her eyes and saw the only face that she wanted -- needed.

Perrie.