Jyrus - Jonah's Problem

Chapter 1 - Jonah's Discovery

This story is about Jonah Beck and Cyrus Goodman from Andi Mack and this takes place after season two episode 13 - Cyrus's Bash Mitzvah

NOTE:The *around words* are their thoughts not to be confused with the "used for dialogue". Please comment your thoughts on my story and if you want me to continue it. Also there will be some smut parts and cussing so be aware. (Just suffer through these first few chapters it changes to a much easier to understand format later, no more ** things for thoughts, because they aren't actually needed.

Jonah's P.O.V.

I turned on my phone and looked at the time to see it was already 11:32pm *ugh why can't I just get to sleep*. I tossed and turned basically in a pool of my own sweat. My mind is racing and I just can't clear my mind. *Why does Cyrus act so nervous around me*. *Does he like me as more than just a friend?*. *Am I going to have another panic attack?*. *What am I supposed to do about my History test tomorrow?*I distracted myself for a little bit by thinking about how much fun it was at his bar mitzvah and of how cute he looked in his blue suit. Then I started crying as I realized that I am falling for Cyrus. "I don't wanna be gay, I just can't be gay" I sobbed quietly to myself.

I woke up by my alarm feeling like shit because I only got about 2 hours of sleep last night. Then I took a shower, got ready, and went to school. While I was walking through the cafeteria almost everyone was looking at me. *Why are they staring? Do I got something on me?*. I examined my clothes and learned I have my really embarrassing pajamas on. *How did this happen I don't even wear pajamas anymore but my mom still buys them for me, well sometimes I wear them when it's cold and I want to get extra comfy*. I stepped aside for a moment to call my mom and learned that I forgot my phone. Today is going to be a long day.

After school I went to the spoon with the good hair crew ,but only to talk with Andi since I was tired and wanted to go home and rest. "Hey" Andi exclaimed when I walked over to the booth. "Hi Jonah" Cyrus said with a wide cheesy smile that I loved so much. "Hey, um Andi could I talk with you" "Sure Jonah" replied Andi. "I meant alone" "Oh okay no problem" Andi replied. When we both got outside I told her "I'm sorry for not treating you like the nice, kind, creative, and caring girl you are. I just need you to forgive me please" "Fine I forgive you, but I can't be your girlfriend" Andi replied. Those last five words made my stomach feel bad. I started walking home and Andi said "I have moved on and so should you". Andi went back inside and Buffy asked "Did you tell him that your not going to be his girlfriend?". "Yes" Andi said. The good hair crew continued to eat and forget about Jonah but Cyrus felt bad for him and hoped he would find someone else.

"Home so early" both of Jonah's parents said while sitting on the couch when Jonah got home. "Yep" I said as I walked past and went upstairs to my bedroom and laid on my bed. *If I can't even keep a girlfriend how am I supposed to hide my real emotions. If my parents knew they would kick me out and at school I would get bullied*. Warm tears started running down my face *Why can't I just be normal like everyone else?*. I got up and grabbed my pocket knife from the top of my dresser and went into my bathroom and locked the door. I sat on the floor against the door and rolled up my long pajama sleeves. With one quick swipe diagonally across my forearm the blood started coming out. I said to myself "Gays are wrong and gross, therefore I need punished" I made another cut across my wrist this time deeper. "I deserve this. I'm such a piece of shit". "Oww" I gasped as I quickly learned that the second cut might of been to deep. I went over to the sink and rinsed my arm with cold water and then held a dry towel over the cuts so they would dry up. The blood slowly soaked through the towel. I had started panicking a little bit now and I grabbed a bigger towel and held it over the cuts. The cuts had stopped bleeding and I rinsed and cleaned off the towels and my knife to try and get the blood off so my parents wouldn't know. It took awhile, but they eventually got cleaned. I went downstairs and got some food and told my parents goodnight and went up to my room. I was so tired that I had fell asleep almost instantly. Now I have this constant fear that someone will learn that I am gay and make my nightmare become my reality.

I was thankful that it was Saturday today, because, no school and I get plenty of time to get my life back together. As I was still in bed I heard knocks on my door and and my mom said "Jonah". "Come in" She looked concerned and asked "Is everything alright? Last night you didn't seem like your normal self". I told her "I'm fine and I was just tired from staying up studying for my History test" even though I was not fine and that's not what I was doing last night instead of sleeping. She sat down on the end of my bed and replied "I can tell your not fine. When your ready to talk about what's been upsetting you I will be here". *If she could tell I was not fine then why would she ask if I was fine already knowing I am not*. "Want to go out and see a movie today?" My mom asked me and I told her "No thanks, I just want to stay at home and relax". She looked around my room and then left while saying "Breakfast will be done in about 8 minutes".

Andi's P.O.V.

Bex called to Andi "What do you want to do today? It's the first day of the weekend"."Nothing right now, i'm busy". I was making a bracelet for Walker in my bedroom, right when I was about to tie it all together "BAM!". That noise was so loud and unexpected I nearly jumped out of my skin. I ran out of my room to find my mom crying and throwing lamps, plants, vases, or anything that was not tied down. "MOM WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" I tried to yell over all the destruction. Then all of a sudden she stopped and said "I did this, this is my fault". She fell to the floor crying. My heart was pounding out of my chest, I have never seen her this upset or angry. " Mom what's wrong, what happened? Please tell me" I said to her while getting closer. She didn't respond she cried even harder and hid her face from me. *What is going on here* That's when I noticed her phone was still turned on and sitting on the table. I looked at it and it was a voicemail from Bowie.

End of chapter one.

Comment if I should continue. Also did you all like how I did their thoughts with the * *s? Should I continue doing them like that? What do you think the voicemail said? Will Jonah talk to his mom about his problem? Will Jonah's worries and fears make him have more panic attacks? What should happen in the next chapter?