Futility [Completed]

Four: Agony

"The fear that surrounds my past is haunting me again"- Yuan

The sound of piano echo through the whole place, Yuan was playing while he was patiently waiting for Devin. They meet up every Friday night as they both create music and play with it.
"Sorry, I am late" Devin came with two pizza box in her hands.
"What are you doing?" Yuan asked her still curious, it was a rare situation for him that Devin bought something to eat.
"We are going to celebrate, I won!" Devin suddenly show her certificate to Yuan,
"Really that's great" Yuan read the certificate and he was so proud to his friend. They sat on the floor and eat the pizza that Devin bought.
"So, I heard we need to move the things out here" Yuan said as they look around at the small place. The room becomes more colorful and have more life than before, it is the result of Yuan and Devin's bond. The friendship they made.
"Well, is not an urgent to move out. I will talk to the owner" Yuan nod as he eats his second piece of pizza. When they were both busy eating, Devin start to talk again.
"So when are you going to let me---" Yuan cut her.
"No"
"Why? I am your friend and I have a right to visit your house, please" Devin really wants to visit the house of Yuan out of her curiosity.
"I want to see the house of the genius musician"
"How many times do I need to say to you, stop calling me as that" Yuan said to Devin.
"Okay, I will stop. I have a condition to you" Yuan looked at Devin.
"If that's about the house, no is a no"
"Listen to me first. I will give you this piano and I will be going to visit your house" Yuan was almost choked from Devin's words.
"I thought this is important to you"
"Well...both but I have my guitar. I have the reason to visit your house more often, so deal?" Yuan somehow afraid. Afraid to lose the only thing that connects him with her. Devin is really a good friend of him. He also worried about his parents, he knows that they were against his music.
"You know Devin, you don't have to do this. I just can't" Yuan saw Devin become sad when he said that.
"You know, I have new composition do you want to hear?" Yuan try to change the topic and try to cheer up Devin"s expression and because of that Yuan let out a big sigh.
"Okay, fine but give me more time. I understand the situation, especially with this place" Yuan nods and Devin, hugged him out of excitement.
"Really? Thank you so much Yuan!" Devin continues to hug Yuan. He doesn't know how to react at the sudden action of Devin towards him and out of excitement, Devin suddenly kissed Yuan in the cheeks while hugging him. They both froze up and silent surrounds them.
"I will get some water" Yuan said and Devin let him go. When Yuan stand up, he smiles and he slaps his face. He didn't know why it felt nice, it is even better than the first time he saw Devin. The feelings were beyond when the first time he lay his eyes on the most beautiful girl he ever meets.

Yuan woke up with a cold sweat. He was wondering why he keeps dreaming those memories again about Devin, he looks around his room and every time he had a weird dream, Yuan wonder why he is still alive, he wants someday his body to just give up and let his own soul go away. He wants to feel her, he wants to see her again. The urge to feel the presence of Devin was strong, to the point that he wants to end everything.
"I always see her in my dreams. Sometimes I want to her not just in my dreams, I also want her to feel here" Yuan talking to his own thoughts. When suddenly he looks at a photo of him together with six boys and one girl. Yuan thought to himself, that he always looks happy when he was with these six boys and one girl, with the people he called friends who grew up with him. But he cants help to think about Devin, her existence in Yuan's life was very memorable and a big part of him that was lost a long time ago.

Suddenly Yuan remembers what bothers Marcus, the youth. Yuan's concern was Marcus he is just 19 years old like Karu, He still weak and he just freshly enters the world of youth and he already bothered about it.

"Yuan!" I heard my mom yelling downstairs. I went downstairs, on the dining area and my dad is scolding me again.
"You didn't come home for the last 2 days, young man" he said. I stared at my food, I don't want to talk to them. I can feel that my mom is still busy preparing our breakfast and as my dad continue to complain.
"Yuan for your information, you have a house to go home and a bed to sleep. Why are you still sticking up with those kids?" I ignore his words, I am used to it. He always talks without thinking what others might feel.
"I sent an application abroad" I look at him.
"Application for what?" I said coldly,
"For your university of course"
"Then, under what course? Business? Doctor? Or it is different again?" I asked him sarcastically.
"Yuan John!"
"What?" I answer him.
"You are 23 years old and you don't want to take the exam and go to university!" I just stay quiet.
"Look, Yuan, you need to decide we are not here forever to give the things you need, to shelter you forever!" I still don't get his point because I am mad at every word he was saying to me right now.
"Then leave me!" I hastily stand up.
"That's your point anyway, you really like to choose him not me, you all wish that I just left and he stays right?!" I look at my mom who just came out from the kitchen,
"No, Yuan that's not what we-" I don't wait to finish her words and I left them.