Futility [Completed]

END- Fifteen: Certitude of the Youth

I really don't know how we end up our lives with this situation. As we always said, we just want to enjoy life but Youth ruined everything. The things that we already built, Life is really unfair. Our current situation teach us how to be selfish and at the same time teach us how to be brave. Each of us can't hide the fact that we really trying to live with peace, to live on a world with full of happiness and without fear and sadness.

Youth's taste is bittersweet. Youth is cruel, a vile world for us who dream bigger than the youth thought. But life will get harder if we just give up. Things I learned is precious than a diamond. Now youth become my concern, Youth becomes the reason why we give up life, why I choose to let go of the thread called hope. The lost one never thought of losing hope, we dream high but life is life, we need to accept challenges and do whatever it takes to overcome it. This Journey becomes rough for us, we like to end up everything smoothly and in the end, we still hurt someone who affects touch by our situation. Cruel right? We don't blame anyone else, we blame youth and ourselves for ending our journey like that.

I thought we will grow up, but it is really hard for becoming an adult when you don't want. We realized growing up is hard for us, we think we can't handle enough and yes that is true. Overcoming the obstacles and remain in our own youth is our final journey, yes some of us don't even reach our real goals in life and I think it is enough for us. We want to dream more, we want to stay for a long time, but it is our time to go. We lost our dream while trying to fit in the world of Adult, we already lost our way when we try to walk in the road called 'our future'.

The prosperous on someone's life can't change that fact if he or she is not happy in life. The lost one doesn't have a dream like others, problems and complains become wounds, a deep one. Now tell me, how do they keep making a dream, a real one? How to keep breathing inside a dark place full of an unknown hole? What do you do to wake up continuously and do your everyday routine? How do we live like you? How do you look in the mirror without any questions running through your head? How can sadness disappear in the world? You can't answer, right? Like I question your whole existence. That's what life is. The unexplained word that explains everything.

"I am not a vile boy, I'm just a lost boy with my lost thoughts wondering how would I live, how do I breathe. I am a boy who doesn't want to grow up" Othello Evans

The last word written in his last book, Othello's word is full of life. He dedicates his final words for the next generation, he writes not for himself instead he writes to the next generation and gives more inspiration and hope...

Since I was busy making a living and at the same time holding Gray's exhibit, I lost the contact from Othello, I guess I really need to say goodbye to him along with my youth. His book "Runaway Getaway: The lost one" is Othello's farewell to me as well as for his life. Othello died but his legacy like Gray continues.

"Mom!" I am now a wife and a mom and still holding Gray's exhibit.
Futility: Life's uselessness at its finesse. Seven boys Youths.

I hold this exhibit in every country, every month. There are organizations invite the exhibit and slowly become viral. The message that Gray portray, greatly get the attention of the society. I even read some article about it. So this is life, you will get more recognizable if you are dead? Well, some cases there is but for Gray and for the boys, it is completely different. They just did what they want. Gray wants to voice it out to the world and make its inspiration to the others. Through his painting and photography. While I still focus on my life, I become a motivational speaker, and I am still fighting about Youth.

As I stared at 'Gray's seven painting of life' I realized how colorful the boys' youths are. Gray show it to the public more realistic and full of life. No one can replace the happiness they been to and the sorrow they felt when no one can help them. Gray, Yuan, Othello, Hence, Min, Sharp and Marcus, seven boys with a youthful future decides to end their journey in their own hands. It still devastated but when I look beyond that, I simply find myself smiling to the sky and look deeply in the clouds as if the seven boys still running and having fun. I thank them that they are my most beautiful youth I encounter.

"The lost one, never grow up and continue to smile. They have someone who will help them and offer an umbrella when it's raining and when they are crying, there is someone's shoulder for them to lean on. Never walk alone in life and found that someone we called Friends" – Futility

-fin-