Understand Me (Anti x Reader/Dark x Reader)

(Chapter 4) Wake up!

~End of school day and back to the horror at home~

I walked up to my house, it was terrible looking, no one has done our yard for 1 year, and the outside was dirty because no one was here to power wash it every once in a while. 'It would probably be all scratched up from all the storms anyway..' I thought as I pulled myself up the steep steps. When I entered the house, I didn't hear snickering and loud talking but instead I heard crying, this worried me, I dropped my bags praying to god it isn't what I think it was. I ran down the hall and saw my moms door open, I ran even faster, I entered the room to see my mom on the floor with my sister hovering over her. I was speechless, and shocked, covering my own mouth from screaming but I failed to do so. I screamed in horror, grief, and shock, there wasn't any blood so I assumed she overdosed on purpose. I didn't want to cry, I didn't want to hover over her to try to wake her up, I didn't want to scream at the ceiling. I didn't want to show emotion, but I did. The painful tears ran down my cheeks and dropped off of my chin practically saying 'You failed, your parents', everything else seemed to blur up because I ran to my room already grabbed a pocket knife. 'I should be punished, for everything, it's my fault, I don't deserve to be here, but little steps to that' I thought hating myself for everything, for laughing, for being happy. I sat down on the floor, the soft carpet rubbing against my exposed legs, I brought down the pocket knife, already opened. I examined the handle, it was fine wood with some little blue birdies on it, I think they were Ferrets but I didn't want to pay attention to the beautiful birds. My breathing shallowed and quickened the more I brought done the knife, just as I was be able to cut myself my door opened I threw the knife under my bed and accidentally cut myself, my sister stood there before me. Her face stained with mascara and her clothes all wrinkled, she already took out her hoops that day. I held my arm covering the cut, "Did you know she was going to do that?" She asked me, her voice cracking from crying. I didn't reply I was to dazed, I looked down at the floor, "No." I said quietly, I heard the door shut and some footsteps away. I peeked out in the hallway, no one was there, I hurried to the washroom, cleaning and washing of the blood, the metallic blood smell stayed in my nose as I did though, I bandaged it. Slightly thankful the majority of my clothes were long sleeved and it was autumn, so I had some reason to wear them. I walked to my bedroom, my light still on, I closed the door quietly, turning of the lights. I stripped the clothing from my hot skin, I threw it forcefully at my hamper, almost wanting to scream again. I slipped into my soft blankets, I heard myself breath and it still was shaky, I closed my eyes not caring if it was like 6:00 pm.

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Sorry I won't be posting a lot that much because ironically I lost one of my loved ones and may she rest in piece, I could stay home from school so I can go to her funeral. I hope you all understand.. 💔