His Little Sister *Completed*

Chapter 10 - Losing It

Day two of Magcon New York started off with another meet and greet. We’ve been here for an hour and nobody has come up to me, instead they’re giving me disgusted looks leaving me really confused. Maybe they think I’m still sick. I can’t leave my post and hang out with Shawn, Aaron, Mahogany, or Jacob right now. The last time the fans stared at me like that when I was hanging around everyone in Canada. I have no idea what I did this time; I have no way how to check at the moment, I looked up and saw a couple fans standing in front of me. I put on a smile.

“Hey—”

“Listen; keep your slutty ass away from the boys.” One of them said,

“Yeah we don’t want them to catch some STD from you.” The other said.

“I have no idea what you guys are talking about. And I don’t have STDs.” There is no way they could’ve found out about the bet but still shouldn’t they be mad at the three who did it and not me?

“That’s bullshit and you know it. C’mon Sara let’s go before we catch something.” They left me standing there dumbfounded. Nobody was close enough to hear that. After that we were rushed backstage and had time to kill. I was confused about the encounter that just happened. Even if Savanna did say something there wouldn’t be evidence to back it up. I was handed a mic and I saw Jack G. standing in front of me. I muttered a thank you and went back to thinking. If those two thought that I was a slut that means everyone at the meet and greet thinks I am one too. I walked over to Shawn and Aaron.

“Can I have my phone back please?” I asked putting my hand out.

“Not yet.” Shawn said turning around.

“You guys are obviously hiding something and there can’t be anything worse than the whole bet situation.”

“…Fine I’ll give it back to you after today’s show. I promise.” I sighed and went back to my spot and waited to be called on stage.

***

“Give it up for little Miss JJ Mendes!” Cameron was the announcer for tonight and it was time for my solo. About 15 minutes about I finished my duet with Shawn. I had my red electric guitar in my hand and connected it to the amp and walked to the mic.

“Hey guys. So I know there has to be at least one 5sos fan out there. But there goes Social Casualty.” I started the first few chords and then started singing. About 2 minutes into the song people were booing and throwing stuff at me. I couldn’t stop singing in the middle of the song. I looked desperately at and Shawn and he mouthed that I should get off the stage before I got hurt. I shook my head and kept trying to doge the things being thrown. When I finished the song I quickly unplugged my guitar and walked past the guys and went back stage. I put my electric back in its case and let a few tears escape. I couldn’t hide back here for the rest of the show.  I walked back on stage and sat down next to Aaron who wrapped his arm around my shoulder making me lay my head on his shoulder. I didn’t think that I was that bad. I got booed off the stage and stuff thrown at me. Tears were streaming down my face and I just squeezed my eyes hoping it was a bad dream. We were sitting on the front of the stage, right in front of Mahogany at the DJ table, and all the fans I the front row were glaring at me. I saw the girls that talked to me earlier making the gesture saying that I’m dead. I have never felt the urge to cut more than I do now.

***

Shawn hesitated to give me my phone back but I needed to know why everyone suddenly hates me. When he finally place the phone in my hand I saw that I had missed calls from Trevor, Sam (Pottorff), Ricky, Connor, Kian, and JC. I skipped them and went straight to twitter. There were more mentions and DMs than normal. I checked the trends and the top five things trending right now are about me.

Jordan

#Jordancantevensing

#sluttymendes

#WhoredanMendes

#talentlessmendes

All those people have been talking about me since yesterday. I click on the pictures on the slutty Mendes tag. There were edits and multiple pictures of me kissing Taylor, Nash, and Matt. To make things worse there were pictures from the times I had sex with them. It didn’t look good at all. My breathing quickened and my hands were shaking, I have no idea when these pictures were taken or how they surfaced the internet. I started reading the tweets and let me tell you it was not pretty. The room is getting small again. Jack G. came into view. There are only three other people in the room but it feels like they are taking all the air. The room was getting hot too.

“Jordan, are you okay?” Jack asked standing in front of me. It’s like I’m frozen; I can’t move, talk, and I can barely breathe.

“Shit…” Shawn said as his voice got closer to me.

“Don’t crowd around her. Open the balcony door for me.” I felt myself getting picked up and someone carrying me into the cool air. I felt someone petting my hair and telling me to calm down.

“Shawn, what’s going on?” Someone asked.

“Growing up Jordan used to have a lot of anxiety and panic attacks. She probably doesn’t remember most of them but she mostly got them from getting too upset and being in a bad situation. Although we thought they stopped because she hadn’t had one since we were kids. She used to be so bad that she’d end up in the hospital.” Shawn explained as he tried to calm me down. The thing is I never stopped having them. Yesterday the attack was different just like the one I’m having now.

“Why’d you give her the phone back then?”

“I would’ve gotten it back eventually and I would’ve found out then.” I slowly got up like nothing happened and locked myself in the bathroom. I have a stash of blades in my makeup bag. The urges to cut were stronger than ever. Instead of me only marking my wrist and thigh with somewhat deep, angry, red cut I started cutting my stomach and higher on my arms. By the time I was done my arms, thighs, and stomach is mostly covered in cuts. I washed and dried the cuts and threw on a long sleeve shirt and skinny jeans. I walked out to see Shawn missing.

“Where’s Shawn?”

“His room. Jordan—” I left before Aaron could finish his sentence. I knocked on his door and waited for Shawn to answer.

“You okay?” The decision I was about to make is a big one and I had to tell Shawn first.

“What’s up?” He looked worried.

“I’m completely done with singing and playing instruments.”

“What? Why?”

“Haven’t you seen the second and fifth trends on twitter?”’

“They’re just saying that to put you down.”

“If they are just doing it to put me down then why are a lot of people agreeing.”

“They’re just jealous.”

“Of what, me sleeping with three guys in one month? Or being known as a bigger slut than Taylor Swift?”

“Just chill out for a second and think about this. You love singing so why quit?”

“Who said I loved singing? I ‘m down with it and that’s final. I left the room slamming the door behind me. I walked into the room and took a pillow and my phone. I lied down on the clod balcony floor. I’m not giving them to call me a slut. I plugged in my music and went on twitter to read the hate tweets and eventually fell asleep.