Stuck (Frerard)

Coffee- Chapter 8

Frank's P.O.V. (Point Of View)

I sighed as I sank into the cracking red rubbery material of the booth. Here I am with this super cute boy about to get coffee. Is this even real? I know it's not officially a date or anything, because that would be weird, I kind of just met Gerard, but it's something. I'm here to get to know him. I want to know about him, and his scars. The awful scars. How could such a beautiful creature destroy himself in such a way? I want to help him. I truly do. I occasionally will drag a blade to my skin, so I'm not the best person to try to convince someone else to stop cutting, but he doesn't need to know about my problems. This coffee is just about him.

He slides down into the booth seat in front of me, making the material crackle just a bit. He sits slightly hunched over with his hands on the table, fingers intertwined. He stares at them, as if they were telling an interesting story. He looks so anxious. 

"So, Gerard," 

Gerard looks up from his fingers and raises his eyebrows at me, peeking from behind his curtains of black hair.

"The, the cuts, why?"

He looks back down at his hands and smirks slightly, without much emotion though.

"Why do you want to know?" He asks this not defensively, but more as if he were confused. Why is it so confusing I want to help him?

"I, I just want to help," I shrug

"Why?" he is actually confused. He doesn't understand why I want to help him. What I wish I could say is, "Because I don't want you to hurt yourself! Is that so hard to understand? You don't deserve the pain you endure! For some reason Gerard, you are special. I'm not sure what it is yet, but I know something about you is special."

But of course, I can't say that, so I reply with,"I want to know why you did it."

Gerard just shrugs. 

I don't want to push him and make him uncomfortable, but I truly want to know. I am stubborn, and I will forever live up to that reputation.

"C'mon," I plead. Maybe if I ask him a direct question, that will be easier.

"Did something happen? A certain event?"

Did something happen with his parents? Is that why no one was home when I was with him?

I just realized, I don't even know how old he is. I could be crushing on a 30 year old man right now! Now I'm slightly uncomfortable.

Gerard just shrugs again. A woman comes by to our table and takes our orders. I order a mocha and Gerard gets plain black coffee. While we wait for our drinks, I ask Gerard questions about himself. 

"So, tell me about yourself,"

"My name is Gerard Way, I'm 17 years old, I live alone in my apartment, and I spend my days drawing and posting comics online," he doesn't look at me when he speaks.

So he's 17 too. Whew! That could have been a messy situation for me. I wonder why he lives alone though. I won't ask him. I don't want him to feel pressured in any way. 

The waitress came back with our drinks and Gerard immediately began sipping his. 

"How about you tell me about yourself first? Then I'll tell you more about me," He offered before taking a small sip of steaming coffee out of his mug. 

"Well, my name is Frank Iero, I'm 17, I live with my parents, and I spend my time-"

Drinking and doing drugs. Is now really the best time to tell him about those problems?

"-playing the guitar,"

That wasn't fully a lie. I do spend a lot of my free time on my guitar.

"Oh," 

"So are you gonna tell me about yourself, or no?" I look into his eyes. His eyes are a shade of dark green with hints of dark brown.

"Almost. Tell me one more thing, why do you let the bullies treat you the way they do? I mean, don't you have any other ways you could get to school?"

I do have other ways to get to school, but they are equally as bad. No matter what, it seems I'm always going to be beat up. There's really no escaping it.

"I don't let them. I can't avoid them, no matter what I do. And no, I don't really have any other ways to get to school," I stare into my mug. I watch as the creamy brown drink makes soft swirls, the bright lighting of the cafe creating reflections in my mocha.

"Oh. I guess it's my turn now," 

I nod.

"What exactly do you want to know?" Gerard shrugs as he sips his coffee. He seems a bit more energetic now, probably because of the caffeine.

"A few things. Why do you live alone at the age of 17, why do you have those cuts, and how long have you been making them?" I purposely keep my voice down so other people won't hear us. There aren't many people anyway, but it might make Gerard feel more comfortable if I speak lower.

He sighs and pulls his hair behind his ear, revealing more of his pale, beautiful face.

"Um, I live alone because I can't do school. It's just not my thing. I had really bad bullies, and things got bad. My parents don't give a crap about if I'm home or not, so they let me live in my apartment under their names. I just pay them rent every month to make up for it. They must've wanted me out of the house. I cut because I have to. I've been making them for a long time. Since I was 14, I believe,"

Damn. That's a lot to take in. 

"Ok," was all I was able to say.

We finished drinking and I paid before leaving.

***

On the walk back to his place, I ran into my ex-girlfriend, Jamia. I dated her only to prove to people that I'm straight, but I couldn't stand being with her, so we broke up. That's how everyone discovered I'm gay.

She was on her phone sitting at a table with her new jock boyfriend. 

"Hey Frank!" she said in an evil, yet sweet tone.

I kept walking, making sure Gerard was following close behind. 

"Is that your boyfriend, faggot?" taunted the jock.

I kept walking, knowing I would get too angry and cause a scene in a public place. As soon as we were far enough away, Gerard asked, "Why didn't you do anything?"

I didn't want to get beat up! That's why!

I shrugged my shoulders.

He just sighed and shook his head.

***

When we reached the entrance to his apartment, I thanked him for coming to coffee with me, and then walked away quickly. That was it. Nothing special. No romance, no excitement, just a simple goodbye. Now it was time to face my parents at home...