|Is this story boring?|
Gerard's P.O.V.
I've spent 3 days with Frank living with me. It has been so incredible! It's the most peaceful feeling waking up to your boyfriend's arms around you. I hope I'm not being a bad girlfriend. What did Frank call me? His 'goyfriend'? I am not calling myself that. I wish I could say that he became my prince charming and solved all my mental problems, but he didn't. Things haven't been too bad I guess. I started wearing rubber bands around my wrists. Frank brought them up to me, not being oblivious, and we agreed that it's better than other things I could be doing, although he told me he doesn't like the bright red lines they leave after being snapped too hard.
I'm not as anxious around him. In fact, I've gotten very comfortable around him. I wear what I want around him, even short sleeves and mixed gender outfits. He goes to school, I get work done, and when he comes home, I let him do his homework before we watch tv and enjoy each other's company.
***
"You okay Gee?" he rubs my bare shoulder with his hand. He has an arm carefully around me as we watch Frozen under the comforter on my bed, my computor on our laps.
"Yeah. Just thinking, that's all,"
Frank turns his neck and places a light kiss on the side of my head. I really enjoy his comfort.
Later, we go to a cheap Thai resturant for dinner. The waitress, Halsey is what I think the nametag said, didn't give us any weird looks thankfully, us being two boys on a dinner date. That's something I definitely thought about while being out in public with Frank. What others would think. I'm happy to discover that so many of the people in New Jersey are queer, or queer enough to open a cafe dedicated to the LGBTQ+ Communtity. Just now, I'm noticing more and more same gender couples holding hands as they walk, which warms my homo little heart.
I use my fingertips to pull the sides of my dark red beanie further down over the tips of my cold ears. I breathe out of my mouth and watch as my breathe forms a cloud in front of me. I remember when I was younger, I would do this with my breathe on cold mornings and pretend I was smoking. My mom scolded me which I didn't understand. She told me smoking is for 'stupid bums who can't get a life' and shouldn't be joked about, also because it kills. I wonder why she stopped caring after the first few times I came home smelling like nicotine and smoke. My mom must have given up helping me, not caring about my health. Wow that was quite a story, now time to focus on something else.
Dinner was nice. I was feeling a bit low, so I didn't want to eat, but I didn't want to trouble Frank by skipping completely. I only ate a few spring rolls. It's best Frank doesn't know too much about my eating troubles. I don't want to be a burden to him more than I am already.
What if he only is being nice because he needs a place to stay? How embarrasing would that be for you to think he actually likes you?
Nope. No, I am not letting anxiety ruin my night. I need to focus on something else again. My eyes dart to count the cigarette butts on the ground, but I quickly revert my vision back in front of me. Counting is another bad habit I have.
Focus Gerard! The weather! Do you like this weather Gerard?
It's cold outside. Octobers in New Jersey are cold. And Novembers, and nearly every season. I enjoy the cold. It gives me an excuse to wear beanies and scarves, and I can wear sleeves without people questioning it.
Walking with Frank in the cold, almost dark sidewalks is peaceful. I listen to the sound of our feet patting and scraping on the dirty, rubble and cigarette butt covered pavement. I wonder who made sidewalks. They are strong and won't crumble, the grey color fits in with the rest of the scenery, they can be cleaned off with just water or a broom, and they are perfect for walking side by side with your gorgeous boyfriend.
The tip of Frank's pale nose is tinted with a soft pink. He has his hands in his pockets and his arms are tight against the sides of his body. From his body language, I would think he's upest, but then his face expresses serenity. He notices my gaze on him, and smiles halfway.
"What?" he breathes a laugh.
"Just admiring my pretty boyfriend,"
"Pretty? That's surely something I've never been called,"
As we walk under a lampost, the light shines on his lip ring, making him seem even more beautiful, like his face is decorated in jewels. Weird, I know. I'm a weird person.
I look at the ground. I can feel my eyes smiling. When I say that, I mean I can feel them be brighter, happier. I tend to not smile with my lips so often. I've learned most of my smiles are fake, and sometimes quite obviously forced, so I stopped putting effort into smiling altogether. Frank was the last person to make me smile a genuine smile.
Frank takes one hand out of his pocket and wraps an arm around my side. I can barely feel his fingers on my waist through my leather jacket. I let him pull me closer to his side and we walk like that for a while, eventually just holding hands, until we got back to my apartment and went to bed, curled close up to each other trying to stay warm in my poorly insulated room.
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YOU ARE READING
Stuck (Frerard)
Fanfic(Has a happy ending, don't worry) Gerard has lived alone for as long as possible, since he was 17. He is a depressed kid that turns to unhealthy methods for coping. One day from his window, he sees a kid get beat up. This happens often outside his a...
