Stuck (Frerard)

Gerard- Chapter 1

|I will be writing this in the perspective of Gerard. Trigger warning for blood and sad stuff!|

I wake up. What time is it? I glance over at the direction of my old digital clock. The bright red font reads 4:38.
I can blame coffee for my lack of sleep. Well, I know that there is no chance I can fall back to sleep, so I slowly pull myself into a sitting position, my bare feet touching the fake wood floor. It feels cold like metal, but is smooth like polished wood. I grunt softly and push my messy black hair away from my eyes and over my ear.

I'm instantly exhausted, but not in a sleepy way. I'm more mentally exhausted, knowing that today will be no different than yesterday, and tomorrow will be the same too, and the next day, and the next. It's always the same.

I sigh and use all my strength to stand up, wobbling slightly as I walk into my kitchen and to my coffee pot on the stained counter top. It has half a pot of cold coffee. Good enough for me. I reach up to my pantry and grab a plain white mug. Everything is so plain. The coffee I drink is plain. The clothes I wear are plain. I'm a plain person, and I hate it. But it's not like anything is going to change anytime soon.

I'm doomed to live a plain life in my plain apartment, living off old coffee and Ramen.

As I set the mug down and pour my coffee, my wrists catch my eye. I close my eyes and groan, tightening my jaw close.

I take a short breath and pour my coffee, not daring to look down at my arms.

I take a sip, wincing at the mixture of the cold and bitterness of the drink.

I take large sips, forcing it down. Then I rinse out the mug, set it to dry, and sit back down on my bed. I guess I have to face what I did last night. I have to face that I'm a mess for a human being.

I whimper softly, taking a sharp breath, and turn my wrists upward so I can see them.

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