Same Old Love (GaWong)

Four

Deanna's

I arrived at our meeting place. Medyo napaaga yata ako dahil wala pa si Luigi. Luigi's my best friend ever since. He went to Singapore a year ago, and he told me he arrived yesterday. I was supposed to fetch him but he insisted na 'wag na.

To: Luigi Luna

Gi, where are you? I'm already here. Don't keep me waiting, you know I'm impatient. See you!

She knew what happened to me and Jema. They were not that close but they both got a chance to talk personally. I am happy that he basically became a part of our love story, he used to give me love advices kahit na single siya.

We both decided to eat in Ramen Nagi. The place where we used to eat. I shook my head, hindi nga pala dapat ako nag-iisip masyado ngayon. I don't want my mind to be occupied by her. Naiinip na 'ko masyado sa sobrang tagal ni Luigis. I composed a message to him when I felt someone stood beside me, but I didn't bother to look.

"Good morning, Ma'am! May I take your order?" The waiter asked pero umiling lang ako.

"Later na lang, Kuya. I'm still waiting for someone. Thanks," I said while typing my message for Luigi.

"Oh, really? So how will we eat kung hindi ka pa mag o-order?" Agad akong napaangat ng ulo at nagliwanag ang mukha ko. Tumayo ako mula sa kinauupuan ko at niyakap si Luigi.

"Gi! I missed you! Slight nga lang," I chuckled and he did the same. He hugged me back bago kami muling umupo. Nakakahiya sa mga taong nakatingin.

"How's Singapore? What did you there? Is it fun? Have you found your girlfriend? Is that my shoes? Did you buy it there or rito lang sa mall?" I asked as I raised my right eyebrow. Tumawa lang siya at napakamot sa ulo niya. Ha! I knew it!

"Ang galing mo talaga! Siyempre.. I bought it here! That's why I'm late, hehe." I rolled my eyes at him before he handed me the paper bag. Mayroong tatlong box ng sapatos roon kaya agad akong napangiti. "Wala na akong utang sa'yo, ah! I'm finally fully paid!"

Nag order na kami pareho ng pagkain namin. Medyo naparami pa nga ang in-order ko pero okay lang, si Luigi naman ang magbabayad at hindi ako. After 30 minutes of waiting for our order, nilapag na iyon isa isa ng waitress. I started to eat my food as Luigi started to open the topic.

"So, how are you? Like seriously, Deanna, how are you feeling?" He asked me with full of concern in his eyes. "If you are not comfortable to talk about it, it's fine. I don't wanna force you naman," He smiled. Ito ang gusto kong katangian ng best friend ko. He respects me and my privacy. He knows I don't talk too much about the breakup and he respects it. He knows his limitations and I'm thankful for that.

"You know how happy I am when she came into my life. Having her feels like a dream, Gi. But everything changed when she left me. I don't want to blame her, or her reasons. Knowing Jema, I know she knew what's the best for us. Pero sadyang hindi ko pa siguro matatanggap ngayon. I am still hoping, you know? But if there's no chances left for us, then maybe in time, baka matanggap ko na." Naramdaman ko ang pamamasa ng mata ko. I quickly looked away and tried my best to hold my tears. I don't want him to see me like this! This is so unusual of me.

"I don't want to see you get hurt again for getting your hopes up, Deanna. I know how much important she is to you, pero naisip mo na ba ang sarili mo? Kahit minsan lang, have you ever thought of loving yourself the way how much you have loved her?" Naibaba ko nang marahan ang hawak kong chopsticks. "If I were in her position, I wouldn't love to see you suffer just because of me. Kung ako si Jema, I would tell you to teach yourself na mahalin mo ang sarili mo dahil ayon ang pinaka mahalaga, Deanna."

"Paano kung bumalik nga siya? At sira ka? Hahayaan mo pa bang maubos ang oras ninyong dalawa para buoin ka niya ulit?" Binaba ko ang ibabang labi ko dahil sa mga sinasabi niya. He's damn serious.

"Simpleng pagbalik niya lang sa'kin, mabubuo na 'ko ulit, Gi. Ayon lang,"

"Hindi ganoon kadali iyon, Deanna. It takes time to heal. Believe me, kahit pa bumalik siya ay makakaramdam ka pa rin ng kakulangan sa puso mo. Kasi naroon ang takot at kaba na baka iwan ka niya ulit. So, do me a favor and fix yourself now. A fucked up Deanna Wong is not her type of woman,"

Nginitian niya 'ko at ganoon din ang ginawa ko. Hindi na 'ko nagsalita pa dahil hindi rin naman siya magpapatalo. And besides, may point siya. I should heal myself first before expecting her to come back. Sino nga ba ang gugustuhing bumalik sa isang tao na wasak? Kahit pa siya ang rason kung bakit ako nagkakaganito, I think it's much better for me to show the positive impact of our breakup. My growth.