Unable To Look Back

Facing the Truth

It took me twice as long as it should to get home. I couldn't even breath a sigh of relief when the familiar two-story came into view. I limped up to the front door, praying it would be unlocked. I took a deep breath before I twisted the handle slowly. It creaked open, I flinched at the sound. I slowly walked into the front room and carefully closed the door behind me.

I carefully went up the stairs, hoping not to wake anyone. No such luck. I had forgotten about the one squeaky stair and stepped right on it. SQUEEEEEAAAAKKKKK! The sound echoed in my ears. I suddenly heard footsteps coming toward me. I saw 6 familiar faces come toward me. I sank down right onto the squeaky stairs and let the sobs take over my body again.

"Lotte? Oh my god! What happened?" My mum frantically asked. She ran toward me and held a hand to my forehead. "She's burning up! Liam come help me get her to her room!"

I heard a different pair of footsteps race and stop right next to me. I was lifted and carried bridal style in the direction of I think my room but I couldn't open my eyes through the sobs.

"Charlotte honey? Can you tell me what happened?" My mum's worried voice filled me ears. I shook my head, still refusing to open my eyes. I was laid on something soft. I assumed it was my bed. I slowly started to drift off to sleep hearing my mum say she was going to call the doctor.

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DREAM:

Running. From something but I didn't dare stop to look from what. Suddenly I was tackled to the ground. I tried to scream but I didn't have a voice. Pain. That was the only thing that registered in my mind. I begged for it to stop. I tried screaming multiple times but no one ever seemed to hear me.

I was being shaken. "Lotte please wake up!" I heard Liam's distressed voice call out to me. My eyes flew open and I shot up.

"What's going on?" I asked still confused.

"You were screaming and begging for something to stop."

"Oh." I said the nightmare coming back to me.

"Lotte what happened last night?" That's when all the events of last night flooded back to me. The party. Walking. Being attacked. Being raped. I started shaking violently and the sobs threatened to take over again. "Lotte tell me what happened. Lotte? Charlotte? MUM COME HERE!" Liam shouted but it was only backround noise to me. I heard 5 pairs of footsteps running up the stairs to my room.

"What's going on?" Niall's voice filled my ears.

"I called the doctor. He's on his way." My mum said.

"Lotte? Can you tell us what happened?" Harry asked. I shook my head, in disbelief of what happened last night.

"Honey we can't help if you don't tell us what happened." My mum said. I reached for a notebook and pen, distrusting my voice to speck. I turned to a clean page and wrote, 'Too horrible to tell.'

"Charlotte tell us what happened." Liam said firmly. I shakely lifted the notebook again and carefully wrote the letters, R A P E D. Everyone gasped then the room was so silent you could hear a pin drop. "No. No. No that didn't happen to you." Liam said in disbelief. He stood up and backed away from the bed, "NO! You didn't get raped last night." My sobs seemed to bring everyone back the the present and suddenly I was being lifted and cradled to a firm chest.

"Shh. It's okay now. You're safe here." Zayn's voice whispered soothingly into my ear. I clutched onto him for dear life. I wanted to believe his words so badly but I couldn't. I was placed back on my bed and I reluctantly let go of Zayn.

"Now Lotte. Can you tell us exactly what happened last night?" Louis asked.

I slowly nodded. "I was walking home. It was about midnight. I had a the strange feeling that I was being followed. I turned around and was pushed into an alley or something. The guy didn't sound much older than me, twenty at the oldest. He tied a blindfold around my eyes and a gag in my mouth and my wrist behind my back. I blacked in and out after that. I just remember the pain and blood." I finished with a shaky breath.

"Oh my god." Was all that came out of mouths. Everyone stared at me in disbelief. The doorbell rang downstairs making everyone snap back to reality.

"That's the doctor. I'll go get him." My mum rushed out of the room and soon returned with a middle aged man. "Charlotte, this is Dr. Yaslon. He's going to make sure you're okay."

"Hi Charlotte. I'm going to need to look 'down there' to make sure you're okay." He cautiously sat on the bed and leaned toward me. I stared up at him blankly. He touched my leg. I let out a defening scream.

"Charlotte, honey what's wrong?" My mum asked.

"Don't touch me!" I shouted curling into a ball in the corner of my bed. "Please don't hurt me. Please." I quietly begged.

The doctor stood up and walked over to my mom. He said something like 'scarred' and 'consider seeing a psychologist'. My mum thanked him and led him out, meanwhile I was still quietly begging for him to stop.

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