The rest of the week was typical,I avoided both Harry and Luke because I thought that if I didn't spend time with either of them I wouldn't feel that guilty,It worked out well for me because Luke had football practice at lunch all week for his big game that he asked me to come see on Sunday so I wouldn't have to sit with him at lunch exchanging awkward glances.
It got to Friday and the bell signaled telling me that this was all over an dI could get away for the weekend I had the party with Fred tonight but i'm not even sure if I was feeling up to it.
I got home already hearing Harry and Josh's voices in the kitchen,I closed the door and walked up stairs,I knew my odd behaviour would not only be questioned by Harry and Luke but also my friends and Josh.
'you still coming tonight?' Fred's message popped up on my screen,mentally making me sigh.
'i'm not feeling up to it' i replied,I had tons of homework that i had been putting off all week and some revision for this test that was coming up in English but I already knew I would procrastinate and watch tv all night instead of do my work.
'tough you are coming I will pick you up at 8:)' Fred replied giving me no choice but to go.
I pulled myself up off my bed and checked my clock,over the week my Uncle,Josh and myself had managed to paint my room a light blue colour and place some retro album covers on one of the walls with fairy lights surrounding them and we added some furniture,it looked more homely now,like it was a representation of me.
I had hours till the party yet so I could lounge around for a while,but only in my room seeing as Harry was downstairs.
This was really all stupid and not needed at all but I couldn't think of a reasonable thing to do to make this situation better,it was what had been swimming round in my mind all week.How can I fix this without it ending badly,I could just go back to Luke and ignore Harry completely,he seemed as if he would keep quite but you never know,but then if I ignore Harry there will always be that tension and there's not a doubt in my mind that I would kiss him again,it was taking so much willpower to not waltz downstairs and have him shove me against a wall and make out with me like there was no tomorrow.
But I had enough self control to not do that,but that didn't mean it wasn't on my mind.
But then again I wanted to go cuddle up with Luke and watch movies and eat pizza,preferably not cheese pizza and make out with him like we did on Tuesday night.
I had turned into the Girl that I dreaded,like the girls who shouted endless abuse at me at my old school,the girl who had to choose between boys like they were sweets,I have turned into a slut.
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After getting ready for the party which consisted of me wearing a white skort and a black crop top that didn't show that much skin with my chunky black sandals,I curled my hair and made it messy then put it half up half down like I always did and added a black scrunchies,I did the normal makeup and just added more mascara than normal.
It was quite interesting that I didn't even know where this party was,I bet I wasn't even invited but that probably wouldn't matter.
When I walked downstairs thankfully Josh and Harry were not around so I said bye to my Uncle and he said to give him a ring when I needed picking up.
I closed the ig front door letting the familiar cold sea air hit my bear legs causing goosebumps to rise as I quickly walked to the car at the end of the drive.As I approached it I realized it was the car that took me and Ruby to Michael's party last time,as I climbed into the back seat Fred was sat next to me with a cheeky smile on his face,Ruby sat in the passenger seat and her brother who I think he name is Louis or something was driving.
