Shhh! Scribbler at Work

Only Make-Believe

[prompt: 'food' 26/10/18]

"Holy Crap! WHAT is THIS? You call this FOOD?" And the scrambled eggs were roughly rejected, pushed to one side, into the uneaten bacon. Zed's determination was clearly absolute to keep the offending items well away from the unassuming buttered toast on the edge of his plate; the only thing he was about to eat, apparently.

"W-w-wh-h-a-a-t?" Abe was wide-eyed, open-mouthed. He'd been prepared for a reaction, maybe some half-hearted opposition to his demonstration of the New Age breakfast. After all, it all LOOKED the part. Didn't it? He shook his head at his oversight, suddenly wondering what he'd been thinking when he planned the meal. Seemed OK back then, he thought. Beginning of the day - beginning of a new diet. Abe's sigh was loud and lusty. Surely got that one wrong. Wait until he hears all about it. And he grimaced as though in severe pain. It's gonna be one of those kinda days when you wonder why you got out of bed.

Abe drew a deep breath before continuing, "It's the latest thing, man. Newest technology out of the great USofA. Synthetic eggs, milk and meat. It's a global solution, they say. Get a listen to this... " and he hurried on as he saw Zed's cheeks draw in and shoulders rise - a sure sign a lurid splutter was forthcoming. "Uses 40% less power and makes 80% less food waste - and wait for it... uses a whole 99% LESS water. How's that me old fellow-me-lad?"

"SO? What's that got to do with me? Do I look like some sort of 'greenie'? Huh? Do I?" and before Abe could reply, "S'pose you're gonna tell me all this plastic junk's performance enhancing too? Legal-like and all?" And he smirked and raised one eyebrow impossibly high.

"As a matter of fact—"

"Aarrgh... get away with yer. Said it yourself, didn't yer? 40% less power! How the hell would I come within a bee's knee of winning with a handicap like that? Hey?" And again, not letting Abe get a word in, Zed rushed on. "I want milk that's been through a cow and eggs that come in shells, NOT in packets of powder or toothpastey sort of tubes. And don't even get me started on plastic meat!"

All Abe's carefully planned explanations fell by the wayside as Zed knocked his chair over in his haste to get away from his well-meaning coach, and up until now - mate.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Breaking through the winning ribbon, Zed all but fell straight into the mikes and cameras and outstretched hands of a mob of reporters and newshounds crawling all over him like he was overnight roadkill, squabbling and shouting their ridiculous questions.

"How does it feel to be the fastest man on the planet?"

"Where'd that last phenomenal burst of energy come from?"

Between great, desperate ragged breaths, Zed said."E-e-eeasy! [gasp, gasp] I... just... ate... my words! [puff,heave,puff] NOTHING else!"