The Marrying of ZIM

1. Where it begins.

Since I was 15, all my mother rang into my ears was that I'd be a beautiful wife that mothered beautiful children in a beautiful home with a just as beautiful and loving husband by my side. She prepared me for my motherhood and wifehood duties, she made sure that after I finished my homework the given evening that I learned how to prepare gourmet dishes and follow the recipes to the T. Since I was 15, my mother had me wearing clip ins, learning how to perfect the art of subtle but having a demanding and strong presence. She said I deserved the world and nothing less. Since I was 15, I've been learning how to maintain a proper posture while sitting, standing in high heels and how to put forward strong body languages. Since I was 15, I've been learning to speak different languages and I never stopped to wonder why the Ghanaian tongue Asante Twi and also French. My mother said that learning different languages and culture would make me a perfect wife for the perfect suitor. She did her best to raise me to be the perfect wife but deep down I just wanted to be normal, I didn't want to disappoint my mother so I kept bringing home A's and nothing less. I kept learning these cultural dishes and I kept my posture straight. Since I was 15, I've been depressed. I was currently sat in my bedroom in my boxers and sports bra knowing that if my mother ever came in and saw me like this there would be repercussions. I couldn't help it, I wasn't this girly person that my mother wanted. I was rough, I trained my voice to be deep and even though I had perfect posture I still attempted to dip as a guy would when I walked. I loved being a woman but I wasn't girly, I've tried explaining to my mother that this wasn't an identity crisis but that got me nowhere other than a psychologist's office with them trying to convince me that I'm not a tomboy.

"Zidania?" My mother called from the door. I hurriedly ran to my adjoined bathroom and shut the door behind me.

"Uhh, I'm in the bathroom about to take a shower mother." I said reopening the door just a tad bit.

"Okay, I'll leave the dress for the dinner tonight on the bed. Your friend Carter Jones is here. Thought I told you that I don't want you hanging out with her type.." She said.

"She's my only friend, mother and my best friend." I said.

She didn't say anything she just sighed. I heard the door close and I closed my bathroom door with a sigh as well. CJ and I have been best buds since I started this school. We weren't always rich and stush. My mom and I were poor, she didn't even know my father but even then she was still stuck up and hid her poverty well. She married Richard when I was 12, he was a very successful lawyer who was looking for a particular woman to settle down with and that woman so happened to be my mother. I wasn't complaining, I had three meals a day and snacks in between because I've always loved food. I get a big allowance and recently for my 18th birthday he bought me a matte black Jeep Wrangler with dark green interior. I was surprised he actually got me what I wanted and not what my mother suggested which was a car that she said, "would bring out the powerful woman in you." I never understood what she meant but I surely didn't want a white Mercedes C-class. I wasn't looking for attention and I surely didn't want to get robbed and killed just because. I wasn't the type to flaunt the money that I now had around even though Richard kept us updated with the latest technology. He came home one day with Apple bags, both had the latest MacBook Air and IPhone XS. Why? I don't know but would I ever ask? No... Over the years I came to the conclusion that I did like the hype, it was the only thing keeping me sane with my mother's constant "home training" sessions.

I took a shower and took fresh pairs of boxers from under the sink where I hid them and drew back on the same sports bra that I had on before. I walked out into my perfectly air conditioned room seeing Carter Jones lying on my bed playing on her phone. I looked down at her feet and she had on the latest Nautica loafers, which I specifically asked her to not get a pair without me. Her light pink shorts stopped mid thigh and her white long sleeve button down was folded at the elbow. I knew she had on her gold chain and matching bracelet that she wore everyday.