The Marrying of ZIM

19. The Devil wears Tom Ford.

I was sitting in my psychiatrist's office looking over at the beautiful woman that was nearing forty but didn't look it, she even had a child and still maintained a perfect body.

"So, Zim nice of you to come back here on your own. Glad to see that you made the decision on your own." Dr Stone said.

I had appointments with her every week for my "identity crisis" the previous psychiatrist tried to force himself onto me to "prove" that I wasn't gay. Of course, my mother didn't believe. Said it was some plot to prevent going to the sessions which broke my heart that she thought I'd ever stoop so low. Richard switched the Doctors and I ended up with her, she made me sign an agreement that if I showed up to all of her appointments then I'd have the choice to stop coming once I turned 18 despite what my mother said.

"I've decided to come back because I feel like my life is spiraling out of control and I don't know how to tighten the reins." I admitted.

"What is happening?" She asked. Could I tell her?

"First off, CJ and I are no longer "friends"" I air quoted.

"What happened there?" She asked.

"Well I'm in an arranged marriage with this guy right, he's my age, and CJ wanted me to run away with her but I couldn't with everything that Richard did for me you know? So she turned on me and I might've beaten her up and also she's jealous that I've gotten close to the guy and I don't like him like that or anything we just came to a compromise you know? We have to at least be friends for the marriage." I finished.

"Very interesting," she muttered out writing down notes.

"How do you feel about the arranged marriage?" I knew that question was coming.

"I've come to terms with it, actually." I nodded. That was the truth.

"Okay, and how is the relationship between you and your mother?" She always asks this.

"It keeps getting worst, when we were poor we actually had little bonding moments that made me respect and love her but now she's just the shell of the person I once called my mother." I sighed.

"No progress there, I see." She continued writing.

The telephone rung out from her desk and she apologized before walking over to her desk to answer the phone. That phone hardly rung when I was here and she always answered it though she's never tried to hush her voice before so the curious cat in me cocked my ears to hear as much as I could.

"What's happening to her?" She asked.

".... okay.. how did the episode start?" Her forehead creased from worry lines.

"Have you tried giving her the pills I prescribed?" She rested her hand on her hip.

"Let me talk to her," she let out a deep breath and her composure softened, I assumed the other person was now on the phone.

"Camille, it's Karen. What's wrong sweetheart?" She asked.

"Where does it hurt?" She turned her back completely to me but I was still able to hear.

"She's gone, Camille. Nothing will bring her back, I understand the circumstances of her death but you have to stop hurting yourself, okay?" She softly said.

It must've been terrible if they had to call. I guess my situation wasn't as terrible as dealing with the death of a loved one but it was my own personal warfare. My own personal warfare where the opposing team was rich and they could bribe the law but why won't Carter just stop this nonsense? We've all hurt enough, will she stop if I died? I wouldn't want her to kill herself because I wouldn't want to be unfortunate enough that she ends up at the same place as me.