Endless Anti-Romantic

Chapter 13: Confused part 1

Chapter 13: Confused, Part 1

I open my eyes and scan the room. The last thing I remember was kissing Connor. It must have been a dream. I look at the clock and I'm wide awake. 10:30! I promised Layla I'd be at her place at 11, if I left right now I could barely make it. I climb out of Connor's grasp and shake him awake. "Connor." He mumbles. "I gotta go. I'll call you later." He nods and grabs my face pulling me in for a kiss. He let's go of me and cuddles with his pillow again muttering something in his sleep. I stay there shocked. It wasn't a dream... Connor and I did kiss... A lot. I bite my lip and pull away. I run down the stairs and slip on my shoes, jumping into my car and rushing to Layla's house.

Connor and I kissed. Connor wanted to kiss me, I wanted to kiss him. I didn't wanna stop at just kissing. Why did I do all that?! I'm with Marcus! And I do think I love Marcus. I hate being a teenager!

I'm only 19, I can't possibly be in love. Not to mention we just started dating! Granted we've known each other a while but we just started hanging out! I jump as my phone rings taking me away from my thoughts. I pick it up.

"Yeah?"

'Hey, you on your way?' I swallow hard.

"Yeah. Yeah I'll be there right at 11 hopefully."

'Great. So how'd it go with Connor?' I could hear the teasing in her voice. I can't tell her. But I should because who else do I have that I can talk about this to? 'Naomi?' I sigh and bite my lip.

"I don't know what to do Layla." I hear my voice break. I feel like I'm gonna cry. I'm a cheater.

'Naomi don't freak out. Just tell me what happened.' I laugh lightly and sniffle.

"I can't."

'Yes you can, spit it out.' I feel a tear fall from my face, I hate hormones! I have a right to feel bad and be sad but the hormones are making me cry about it. 'You better tell me when you get here. Just relax for now. Calm down.'

"I'll be there soon." I say looking at the time. 10:48.

'Alright. Be careful Naomi.' With that we hung up. I put myself in this predicament, it's all my fault.

~~~

"Then that's when I came here." I say still crying and cuddling with Layla's huge teddy bear that her older brother got for her.

"My god. I'm not even sure how I should respond."

"What am I gonna do Layla? I cheated on Marcus!" I sigh. "Should I tell him?" Layla shrugs with a head shake.

"I have no clue. Do you feel like you need to?" I bite my lip.

"I don't wanna be that girl."

"Well you said it was just a mistake right? And you said after it all you knew it was so wrong and it broke your heart, tell Marcus that."

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"I came here cause you were having a bad day. I didn't mean to make tonight all about me, so I'm sorry about that." Layla laughs and pulls me into a hug.

"It's fine Naomi." She pulls away and smiles. "This may be a bit inappropriate right now but I gotta know. Who's kiss was better?" I laugh and soon enough we're both laughing as loud as possible at nothing.

After a few minutes I sigh and shake my head, "I don't even know Layla. When I kiss Marcus it's the cliché sparks and fireworks. But with Connor it was like-" I exhale sharply, how can I even begin to explain it? "It was like taking crack." Layla and I laugh again, "I'm serious. At first I was shocked and didn't know what to do, but the second time when I gave in..." I smile and bite my lip, "I didn't wanna stop. It was addicting. I needed more. I knew it was wrong but I was so addicted to him that I couldn't stop no matter what was telling to stop." Layla nods.

"Wow. So you have a fairy tale, cliché kiss and a heated and addictive make out session." I nod slowly. "Girl what world have you stepped into?" I laugh and shrug.

"A cliché romantic book that 13 year olds read."

"Like twilight!" I instantly laugh at Layla's response. "You're the beautiful Bella. Marcus is the Edward, new to you, and an incredible kisser. Then Connor is Jacob, the best friend for many years with a smoking body and a heated person in general. I dislike him a lot but he is pretty hot." I laugh at Layla and push her lightly.

"You're a dork."

"Yes I am, but I'm a cool one." I roll my eyes and we go about our sleep over. We talk about Layla's problems with her boyfriend and her moving to go to her dream college. Eventually we fall asleep and I can't help but think. Should I tell Marcus?

~~~

The next day at school I sit in the cafeteria, munching on French fries and reading. Layla doesn't have classes today cause last minute her teacher got sick. Lucky bitch. Moments later I feel two arms wrap around my chest and I'm scared to see who it is. "Hello beautiful." I sigh in relief.

"Hey." Marcus leans down and kisses me. "What are you doing here?" Marcus kisses my temple and sits beside me. "I thought you said you weren't coming to school today."

"I wasn't but when I heard how sad you were I needed to come and at least say hi." I laugh and close my book.

"Well thank you for that."

"No problem." Marcus reaches over and steals a French fry. I hit his hand lightly and laugh. "Why the assault? Get it? A- salt?" I laugh loudly and cover my mouth.

"You're an idiot." He laughs and reaches for a fry again. "Ask." He chuckles and pulls his hand back.

"Naomi you're adorable and I love you so can I please have a French fry?" I swallow hard. He just- "I heard you say it and after thinking about it. I feel the same." I feel my heart clench and I can't help it.

"Marcus we gotta talk about something." His face goes from loving to serious.

"Okay." I exhale slowly and close my eyes.

"I didn't mean for it to happen. I was just trying to help him with his girlfriend problems but Connor and I kissed." I open my eyes and Marcus nods.

"And?" I raise an eyebrow.

"T-that's it." Marcus laughs and exhales loudly.

"Well shit Naomi. You scared me." I'm confused now.

"I'm so confused." Marcus grabs my hand and kisses it.

"I'm not mad believe it or not. I can understand why it happened. You're beautiful, you're an amazing girl, you're caring and girlfriend material. After so many years of being just friends I'm sure you and Connor wanted to see what would happen. The only thing I'm scared of is you leaving me for him right after admitting I love you."

"No! No I wouldn't do that."

"Good." Marcus leans forward and kisses me. I feel the sparks again. "Cause you're officially my girl. 100%. He missed out and I got a great girl." I smile and nod. "I gotta go but I text you alright?"

"Okay."

"Love you." He kisses me again and walks away. When he's out of view I sigh and lean back. This can't be happening. I'm so confused!

"What do I do now?"