Endless Anti-Romantic

Chapter 21: Moving On

Chapter 21: Moving On

"Naomi!" I blink fast and turn back to Marcus.

"What?" He laughs lightly and grabs my hand.

"I asked where you wanted to go today. You promised me an amazing date remember?" I laugh and nod.

"Yeah I remember. Sorry I'm still a little jet lagged."

"That's fine." He glances over at me with a smile. "You look absolutely beautiful Naomi." I give a tiny smile but it feels forced.

"Thanks."

"Are you alright Naomi?" I sigh and shake my head.

"Not really. I hate having arguments with Connor." Marcus pulls over and turns to me.

"Then why start it Naomi?" I turn to him in shock.

"I didn't start it."

"Actually Naomi, you did."

"He slammed the door in your face!"

"But after I heard you yelling at him. I'm not sure what the argument was about but I definitely heard you yell first." I sigh and shake my head.

"Marcus you don't understand."

"And you don't understand Naomi." I swallow hard. "I've changed the past two years when you were gone. Connor and I have actually talked." I feel my heart clench.

"About?"

"You. He would always ask how you were doing."

"But the problem was he never tried to speak to me!"

"Naomi, he could barely handle it when you left. Imagine him actually hearing your voice over the phone and finally letting it sink in that you're millions of miles away." My eyes reach Marcus' and I can tell what he's saying is true. "He missed you so much Naomi. He damn near went to jail because he couldn't handle being without you."

"We all have to move on eventually." Marcus looks down at his hand and scoffs. "What?" He licks his lip.

"What happened to the girl I fell for?" He looks up at me at the exact same moment my heart breaks. "You said so before, no matter what Connor would be your best friend. As much as I was against it before, seeing how much he cared about you was refreshing. You wouldn't be alone. You'd have him or me." He laughs to himself then looks down again shaking his head. "You're not the same Naomi I wanted to be with." I don't know if it's anger or sadness but I slap him. He rubs his cheek and turns to me with a sad look.

"You don't know anything Marcus." He smiles lightly.

"The Naomi that Connor and I care about would be resolving fights, not starting them."

"Fuck you Marcus." I open the car door and start walking away. After a few minutes, what breaks my heart is that Marcus hasn't turned back for me. I guess this is the perfect time to reflect on my life. Marcus and Connor both hate me. I feel my throat dry up and tears sting my eyes. "Perfect."

"Need a ride?" I look over and see Connor leaning over the passengers seat. I scan his car, mustang. Connor always said he wanted a mustang, preferable grey. "Naomi." I look back up at him. "I'm not mad at you. Just get in the car. Please." I nod and open the door. As soon as I get in Connor sighs. "I'm sorry Naomi. I was out of line and I'm sorry for that." Before I can say anything he turns the volume in the car on to 'of mice&men'. I smile lightly and watch Connor as he drives.

~~~

"You okay?" I nod slowly cuddling with my teddy bear. Connor hands me the warm apple cider and walks to my closet. When I see him pull out his favorite shirt out of my closet I can't help but smile. "Want shorts or sweats?"

"You choose." Connor nods and digs in my closet. I sip my apple cider and Connor sets the clothes beside me. "Thank you." I put my cider on the nightstand and prepare to change when Connor walks out. I change quickly and run out if my room to see Connor standing against the wall. "I thought you left." He smiles lightly at me and shakes his head.

"Just giving you some privacy." I swallow hard and cross my arms over my chest.

"Well thanks I guess." He snakes and walks past me back into my room. I sigh and close my eyes. I need to fix things with Connor. I walk back into my room and sit on the bed. Connor is sitting on the desk chair. "You know you can sit over here with me." Connor nods.

"I know. I just don't think it's the best idea." Connor looks around my room and laughs. He stands to and walks to my photo wall. "Remember this?" I walk over and stand beside him. He points at a picture and I can't help but laugh.

"My 13th birthday." I smile at the picture of Connor and I smiling at the camera with nasty sunburns. "We stayed in bed or baths for weeks." We both laugh and Connor points at another one.

"How about this one. Remember?" I bite my lip and scan the picture. Connor was dressed as a knight and I was dressed like a Princess. It was definitely Halloween, not too sure when.

"No I don't."

"What?" He looks down at me with a smile. "It was our 7th Halloween together! You were so obsessed with the whole fairytale stuff and begged me to be your 'knight in shining armor'." I give myself a face palm. I can't believe I said that! "It was fun. We went to the good part of town and got so much candy. It lasted us until January." I look over as Connor scans the pictures smiling or laughing at each one. Eventually he looks over at me with a smile. "What?" I shake my head.

"Nothing. It's just nice to see you happy." Connor laughs and walks back to the desk chair. I sigh light enough so he can't hear. "Con can I ask you something?" I turn and he nods.

"Yeah sure. Anything." I swallow hard and kneel in front of him.

"Have a really changed? I mean personality wise." Connor sighs.

"Yeah."

"How?"

"You're less compassionate. What I told you before about my record, old Naomi would have helped me through it, not get mad at me. And with Marcus. He had to call me to pick you up because you walked out of his car when you two got into a tiny disagreement which you blew out of proportion." I bite my lip and look at the ground. A few minutes later I sigh and sit on the floor. Connor pushes the chair away and sits beside me.

"I'm a terrible person now."

"No you're not Naomi." I close my eyes and a few seconds later, I feel Connor flick my lip. "Stop biting your lips."

"It's a bad habit I know." Connor laughs.

"Yeah. That's all." I look over at him as he closes his eyes and lays on the floor. Why did he say it with sarcasm? I sigh and lay back. "You should apologize to Marcus. He's a good guy."

"Since when are you two friends?" He laughs and looks over at me.

"Since he took me to his house when I was blacked out drunk. We talked about you for a while and I realized he isn't a bad guy." I nod slowly.

"I have another question."

"Shoot." I swallow hard and roll on my side to face him. I have to do this.

"If you were given the chance. Would you have gone to Paris with me? And if so, would you have said what you texted me that day?" Connor turns his head to look at me. He scans my face.

"I would have give, but I can't tell if I would have sent the message." I nod.

"Fair enough." I sigh and roll on my back to look at the ceiling. Connor laughs and I look at him. "What?"

"Nothing Naomi." He smiles and grabs my hand. "You know I love you right?" I laugh and nod.

"Yes I do." We lay on the floor and talk about irrelevant things and my years in Paris. It was nice to have my best friend back.

I just wish I could say 'I love you' without him taking it the wrong way. I've gotta try moving on from this. I can't be with Marcus or Connor until I can become myself again. I can't say Connor made me with way, because I did. And now I need to make myself the way I was 2 years ago. The Naomi everyone, including myself, loved.