the soft

me

he said 

i hate your oriental face

i go home and trace my 

slanted eyes

try to fold the eyelids up so

they aren't small like he says 

they are 

he said 

go home chink 

and i wonder what he means

by home 

sometimes i walk the shadows

in my home and really don't

feel like myself 

and i really thought america 

was my home

but the more i walk these streets

the people with the big glassy eyes

never blink 

white porcelain dolls behind glass

unreachable 

and if you meant china 

they know i am not one of them

they can smell a foreigner 

an imposter 

from miles away

he tells me 

why can't you be silent 

like you're supposed to be

and sometimes 

i really do 

let my tongue fall away 

disappear between two worlds 

that have never really accepted 

me. 

a/n - it has been a journey to love and accept my culture and my identity. this is how i used to feel and act. i'm now glad to say that this is no longer the case, and has not been the case for quite some time. i hope everyone is able to accept themselves as who they are. don't let anyone steal your cultural heritage away from you. 

much love, audrey.