the soft

where did you go [undergoing edits]

we spin each other around

in a vertigo circle

we waltz and we twirl and 

we dance and our bodies move

in ways that should not be mortally

possible but there is softness 

in our bones that 

sing with the wildness of tonight

and my other half knows me

knows the way my eyes shine under 

the morning glare of the grass lit 

by sunlight, knows the way my hair

swings, knows the way my eyes blink,

my hands my feet my legs my arms

my other half knows me understands me

predicts me loves me

but lately i've been dancing and

every step in 

each direction i hit a wall

my movements are clumsy and 

constantly monitored, my bones

creak with the elegies of tonight

and lately i've been dancing 

in a glass box and

when i look up 

i have been dancing alone 

and where did you go, my other half? 

when i was dancing like a fool in the spotlight

when i was dancing and everyone was laughing

at how i was trapped in that glass box

a wild animal, desperate. yearning. deprived. 

completely offbeat?

and where did you go, my other half?

where did you go, when i failed 

my own two feet you (I) trusted in?

and where did you go, when i tried to find you 

in the crowd, ended up with scraped knees

and new bruises

and where did you go? my other half? 

when i sunk between my sheets and watched myself 

cry and shake and hate myself

where did you go? when i screamed for help 

within that glass cage 

and tore inside my heart

and found nothing but the hardness condensing

around my throat?

my other half? where did i go?

 i've been looking everywhere 

but it seems like I'm caught 

in a cage my other half?

 where did i go? i can't find myself 

in the mirror i'm staring at? 

my other half? where did you go? 

what happened to that person 

who knew who she was my other half?

 where did you go? 

i'm searching the room 

but can't go any farther than these 

mirrored walls my other half? 

where did i go? 

i spin me around

in a vertigo circle

in the game of life

we waltz and we twirl and

and it may seem like we dance 

but in reality we're feinting

dodging hiding scratching screaming

to make a wound at each other

our bodies move

in ways that should not be mortally

possible and how can there be such

darkness brewing inside our bones -

myself? where did i go?