he made me
feel less than whole
and sometimes when
i think of what he did
to me i want to take my
body and tear it into
little pieces so i won't
remember his predatory
touch
he made me feel less
than whole. i remember saying
no but he kept pushing his body
on top of mine and saying
you know you don't mean it
come on
i remember wanting to push
him off but there were chains
around my brain saying
he's entitled to your body
you should let him
you can't deny him
it'll hurt his feelings
he's supposed to own you
like this
i remember his hands creeping
down the waistband of my pants
and his hands reaching up my shirt
and every inch of my body screaming
this isn't right this isn't right this isn't right
but those chains kept humming
this is what he wants so this is what you
want
i remember going back to my room
wondering why i'd let him have that
privilege why i couldn't stop him sooner
why i'd let him enter such a
sacred temple and then i looked down
at my body and saw the chains round my
arms and the collar around the neck and
a red brand on my chest and
my body was not my own
could no longer be my own
was never my own
he made me feel less than whole
and sometimes that brand still burns
and i wear that collar like my favorite
necklace and the chains like a gifted
bracelet
the other day i knelt in the shower
and wondered how my body was
not screaming out in horror
when i felt it recoiling from the water
not even something as natural as
water can clean something so dirtied
as me
he made me feel less than whole
and i cannot forgive him for that
but even more than that
i cannot forgive the world for
making me a possession of his
reducing me to a collar some chains
a mere doll of skin and bones
- my biggest secret
YOU ARE READING
the soft
Şiirthey say to be soft is to be powerful but it gets harder to believe that every passing day
