Sunshine's Secrets {NCT Donghyuck/Haechan}

Chapter 7: Escaping this Hell

During Jisung's trainee days, he had a best friend who encouraged his dream, Choi Minhwang. Before entering SM, although bear a 2 years age gap they were inseparable. Always hanging out together and causing mischief, two peas in a pot. But once Jisung started training, it was hard for him to find free time, and he treasured every given time he has then to spend with Minhwang.

Minhwang is that amazing friend he felt like he didn't deserve, all the times they would sometimes meet up and he would cry out all his frustration to the elder boy, Minhwang would give him treats and cheer him up. But Jisung was too naïve to notice the changes in his best friend, no more short sleeves, darkening eyebags, fatigue movements.

Until one day he receives a message that he couldn't quite understand.

"I'm sorry, hyung is so sorry Sungie. Forgive me for doing this"

He remembered staring at his phone in confusion, maybe something upset him? So, after begging and pleading, he was allowed off the afternoon to visit him. Unaware of what's coming

He remembered greeting Mrs Choi cheerfully, and running upstairs. Knock knock...but Minhwang didn't opened the door for him. "Hyung?"

He remembered pushing open the door himself, with a big smile. Only to find the most horrid sight in his life right in front of him. "H-h-hyu-hyung?" he stuttered, dropping the compliment feedback letter he got from the trainers in a recent evaluation.

He remembered seeing pools of blood on the floor, the foul smell overcoming his senses, his hyung's body sat against the bedframe lifelessly like a ragdoll with arms bleeding out crimson like a waterfall. A knife covered in red and no longer silver is in the palms of his hand.

He remembered running, crying, shouting, begging for him to open his eyes and wake up. But he never did.

He remembered Mrs Choi's scream, how she had pull her dead son in her arms while Mr Choi takes him into his embrace, stroking his hair while spouting 'it's going to be okay' nonsense that even 12-year-old him would know were lies.

He remembered watching people in black lowering the coffin that held his best friend into the grave hole and sealed it up.

He remembered the tears that he shed when he received a letter written to him by his hyung, apparently Minhwang had a lot to say. And even till this day, he could recite the 2 pages long essay-like letter word by word.

And the nightmare was only starting, he was appointed to attend trauma therapy after breaking down unconditionally at random times. The other trainees however never got the story, they never knew why excellent dancer Park Jisung needs weekly afternoon leaves for a couple months. He was also allowed to go home a bit more often.

Just when he thought he's healing, another problem arises. Jisung learned a lot from Minhwang's case, which is why when his brother is showing those signs more obviously even, he could tell right away. He tried to do all he can, compliments, encouragement, subtly checking once in a while for blood stains on his clothes.

His brother always held a smile on his face for him, weak and tired. Jisung felt so helpless, he had to do something and so he did. He tells, he tells his parents what he saw. 13-year-old Jisung thought, things will get better soon, his brother will get all the help he needs. But instead, the day before his brother's therapy sessions starts, it was such a close call he was scarred.

His brother had a rope around his neck with its other end tied to the fan, feet ready to jump down from the stool he's standing on. Had he not thought of bringing breakfast up to him, he would've lose another to the same demon. "HYUNG!!" He drops the tray containing food and picks up a scissors on the desk.

His brother was quick to react and jump but Jisung, a trained dancer was quicker on his feet. His brother's figure falls onto the floor; their parents rush up to see the commotion. His mother comforts Jisung while in tears as their father tries to restrain his brother who's madly yelling at him. "JISUNG YOU NOSY BRAT!! YOU SHOULD'NT HAVE SAID ANYTHING!! YOU KNOW DAMN WELL I'M DONE LIVING!!! I'M DONE!! I WANT TO DIE!! I WANT TO DIE!"

Jisung could only curls into a small ball in his mother's embrace, all he ever wanted to do was help. But he couldn't even do that, instead he made things worse.

During his brother's recovery, he actually got better. But he never thanked or apologized to the younger. Thinking, Jisung had been nosy, and he did tell something that's a really big matter to their parents. Jisung cries to bed each night when reminded, his brother probably hates him now.

_

Jisung falls onto his bed, he scanned his wrist and then his entire arm. He squints his eyes, on is skin there were barely visible scars. Scars that reminded him of that hole he slipped into, how he struggled to find his way out. It was a hellhole of a ride, to have a demon raging in your head of things you can't control.

But then, he's put in the NCT debut line-up. He met his hyungs, he finds his new hope, his new key to the new lock that caged his free spirit. Thanks to them, he leant to put down the blade, he learnt that he's not alone, he learnt that it's okay to cry and ask for help, he learnt how to see him for himself.

14-year-old Jisung was happy and healed when he debuted, so in what logic sense was he going to let his hyung stay trapped in that hellish maze longer than he ever wants. He was going to help, and this time, he'll do it right.