Sunshine's Secrets {NCT Donghyuck/Haechan}

Chapter 4: Found out? Sorta...

Taeyong woke up and shut off his alarm, mind still fuzzy and sleepy, he went room by room waking up his boys, but when he came to the two youngest room and realized no one is there. He went frantic, instead of knocking, he bust open other rooms scanning and searching. "UGH Taeyong STOP!! They're probably withy the Dreams!" Yuta shouted at the leader.

Oh, he now remembered Haechan telling him about staying with Dream but definitely not Mark. Still, it couldn't hurt to check? He put on decent clothes and makes a short trip to the U's dorm to wake Kun first, pulling the Chinese with him to the Dream dorms.

"Why am I dragged?" Kun asks, yawning as he did. "Because you're the other parent in this group and we need to make sure the children are not kidnapped or anything" Kun looks at Taeyong, trying to process his words. "Fair enough"

They creak open the door, Taeyong frown seeing a pillow on the door step. "These kids-Oh, OH-" he quickly covered his own mouth from letting any sound escape. Kun had stepped out just so he could shake off the giddiness from seeing the sight.

There's blankets hung everywhere and pillows galore with plushies, but the cutest sight is inside the pillow fort. Mark somehow is sleeping with a huge blue bear cuddle close, Norenmin all tangled with each other near where Mark was and on the other side was Haechan sandwiched in between two maknaes.

It was so adorable, because Jisung doesn't usually initiate skinship but there he is with one arm as Haechan's pillow and the other over Haechan's waist and Chenle just looked like a koala clinging to the other vocalist. Taeyong didn't even want to disturb them but they do have a schedule, he proceed to wake them up starting with the three, but not until he took a few pics of course.

"Dreamies~" He cooed, pulling Renjun apart, he boy's leg had crossed with Jaemin's and his hands were in Jeno's firm grip. "How do they sleep like that?" Kun asks, trying to shake Jaemin out. "Wha-hyung?" Renjun mumbled, rubbing his eyes.

"Get up you sleepyheads, we don't have all day" the leader of 17 says, shaking Mark. Kun walks over to the other trio. "Chenle...." He tried prying Chenle's hands off Donghyuck but the smaller Chinese just wouldn't let go.

"Haechan hyung.... don't cry......it's okay......we're here" the boy mumbled in his native tongue, Kun was taken back by this. Haechan cried? Did something happen? He quickly grew worried, Haechan's face twisted, "Please....no...." he muttered. "Um Taeyong?"

Taeyong was there in seconds, he too grew worried. This was new, he hadn't thought something was bothering the younger. Almost by sense, Jisung move his arms, tightening his grip on the elder. "Guys......wake up" he gently shakes Haechan, "Hu-huh? H-hyung?" the boy wakes up causing the other two to stir awake too.

"Oh, morning Kun ge, Taeyong hyung" Chenle chirp, a yawn escaping his lips right after. "Haechan you were mumbling a lot in your sleep......is everything alright?" Haechan panics, a million thoughts and scenarios ran in his head. His whole world spinning, why? How? What was he supposed to say? Jisung takes his hand, giving it a squeeze. "Hyung had a nightmare, we help him. That's all"

Donghyuck could never been happier with Jisung, his mind is racing too fast to come up with a decent lie. Relief wash through both hyungs, "Is that it? Okay then, but if there's anything at all, you know you can talk to us, right?" Kun says to the vocalist.

"I know"

_

He drops the already dripping with red silver into the sink, after escaping into the bathroom, everything crashes down on him with full force Oh my god how could I've been so reckless?!? What if they find out? I can't let them know, they can't know this!! The thought of them hating him, calling him an idiot, they probably would kick him out of NCT if they knew just how fucked up and brokenly pathetic he is.

Idiot idiot IDIOT!! Can you not screw up for once?!?! You're such a good for nothing!! Stop being such a damn anchor, you think you're worthy of them?!? You think you deserve them?! Don't fucking forget glitch, you don't deserve shit Lee Donghyuck! You're nothing, NOTHING

He wanted them to stop, but wasn't that his own voice? The walls feel like they're closing in on him, the urge to hurt himself and take away the pain was unbearable. With a mind of their own, his hands search for the innocent looking box of matches hidden well under the sink drawers. He pulls open the lid, multiple shapes and sizes of thin silver blades.

His hand shakily grabs one, another tossing off his shirt and shorts. Without even an ounce of hesitation he drew 6 long lines across his thighs, and simply slash his abdomen as if he's playing a cello.

He knew better than to do anything to his arms, it was harder to cover up there but Donghyuck was sure he wasn't even thinking straight any more, all he could think of is the pleasure that's washing away all the pain. Once he's aware of what's happening, he cries harder. The bleeding cuts that paralleled like barcodes on his skin started to sting.

What had he done? This is so stupid, so freaking pathetic. He eyes the mess of drawings he made, he can't help but think, they looked so beautiful. They're meant to be made there, he's meant to be suffering. So that's long sleeves for another 3 months or so

I just wanna die already