Sunshine's Secrets {NCT Donghyuck/Haechan}

Chapter 8: Busted

Haechan all but hobble into the Dream dorms, his joints are aching all over and his head is spinning faster than Mark's rapping. There's supposedly no other members in said dorm at the moment, he was so sure he checked their schedules. Kicking off both shoes, he lets himself fall on the couch as he tries to steady his breaths.

After the adrenaline from intense dance practice (and running a few blocks down to get some things from a store and back to dorm) cooled down, he takes out the items in his bag that were tucked neatly in a paper bag.

Colourful pens, glitter, stickers, a bunch of assorted theme letter papers and envelopes

It was irony how cheerful, rainbows and glitz everything was despite the purpose he had bought them. He stared at the items in his hands, they looked so innocent, pure even. Yet, he'll be using them for such a sad and dark purpose, he felt bad for the animated objects.

He couldn't keep these at the 127 dorms, Taeyong always clean their rooms from top to bottom, not a corner is excluded. So, finding these things may or may not raise questions but Haechan rather not take chances. He carefully puts them away in a locked drawer.

Grabbing a shirt, he strides to the bathroom, being in a cramped room by yourself really makes you realized how disgusting you looked and smelled. He can't tell exactly why he bought those stuff, he didn't want to admit it to himself, he had thought of leaving, quitting, just make it stop once and for all but never did he expect himself to actually be desperate for it. Is he?

I don't want to die

He wanted to scream at himself but at the same time

This isn't worth it, you can't do this anymore, just end it all

When he thinks about it, just how did things get so bad for him? Nothing bad truly happened to him in his life, is he that ungrateful for all he's blessed with? There's nothing to justify, to qualify as his reason to be in such a mess. Is this even a mess? Or he was just that good at hiding?

He never had trouble with unusual sleeping habits, although tired or numb he could still do his idol- daily routine just fine. The only abnormal thing that ever happened to him was his developing incapability to consume food. He feels like shit, but he effortlessly looks fine. Every mistake, as small as they can be can bury him in guilt and regret, yet he could keep a faced and deal them just fine.

He hissed when hot water came in contact with his newer cuts, there's a red patch on his arm now, great. He didn't bother changing ion the bathroom and simply step out and returns to his own room. He throws on some pants first, then proceeds to get some ointment for the rash on his arm.

He was still applying the healing cream when the dorm just slam opens, "Haechannie we're back early!!" Renjun exclaims, Jeno and Jisung in tow. Chenle and Jaemin's voices can be heard from their living room. But all three figures stopped dead in their tracks at the sight of shirtless Donghyuck, scars littered all over his thin frail frame with red rashes from previously and other wounds and bruises.

Renjun screamed and ran out, it doesn't take a genius to know who he's running off to find

Jeno looked away, hands covering his mouth to keep himself from vomiting

Chenle too screams in horror, Jaemin and himself heard Renjun's scream and sobs as he ran so they went to inspect. Jaemin's first reaction had been the most sensible out of all the present

Dream members, he waste no time yanking both youngest out of the room.

Any other time, he would've let it slide. But Jisung was having none of that bullshit today. He harshly pulls his hand away from Jaemin, "Let me help him hyung-" but he was cut off by the door ton their doors flinging open with so much force. Mark, Taeyong and the rest of parent line stormed in with other members trailing behind. "I want all of you out of here except Mark, Dooyoung, Johnny and I" barks their leader.

Kun embraces a shaking Chenle, trying his hardest to calm the youngest Chinese down. Jaehyun and Taeil pulls Jeno away. Ten and Yuta tries to comfort Jisung but the youngest for once proved to be stubborn.

All the while, Haechan panicked. He's found out, he's so done for. It sacred him, he saw how Renjun looked at him, how Jeno was trying to not break down as well. How Chenle's hands had his blood on them, when did the cuts reopened? He's done so much damage already, and worst of all. He lets Jisung, their precious 16-year-old maknae saw what kind of screw up he was.

Why? It's so noisy, people were calling his names and arguing? He could hear their leader's voice, Dooyoung's...Jisung's? Alas the swirling storm in his mind is much greater. But he couldn't or maybe he didn't want to look up to them, he's too scared of all the angered and disappointed or disgusted faces he'll received.

"Jisung we just don't want you to experience-"

"JUST SHUT UP!!! Stop freaking act like I'm some kid who knows nothing!"

"Jisung, we don't like this sudden attitude, just go as we told you"

"I want to help"

"We'll handle this, like I said. You're still young and you shouldn't-"

"Know what's it like to see someone you love and care destroys themselves with their inner demons and you can only helplessly watch because you don't know what to do? Or have to experience how's it like to hold their lifeless body with their blood all over you and just wonder to yourself why didn't you noticed? Well, too bad hyung, I do. Now let me help him"

They didn't stop him this time