His Crime

Chapter Four

Stepping outside, I let the cool autumn wind rush over me, as if cleansing me from everything that's happened in the past ten minutes.

Making sure to close the door behind me, I lean against the brick wall. Having Anna express her true feelings through her green eyes made me realise what I got myself into. I could've escaped this life, of always waiting for Justin, of wanting his redemption and his thoughts to make my own valid.

Justin, the man who will always keep my heart also shatters it.

My stomach knots, twists and warns me of all the consequences there will be if I stay with Justin, if I want to possibly revive our relationship, if I want to allow his crimes.

But, worst of all, if I want to allow my heart to be deserted and broken again if he is to leave one more time.

Him leaving seemed to be the easiest choice for him, making sure I would never be able to see him. Even now, where he is free from prison, he seems to rather want me to leave, to never see him again.

If I was wiser, I would've stayed away.

I scoff to myself. Through all that has happened, him leaving is the worst thing to happen to me and him finding me is the best. He's helped me in ways I thought not possible, in ways that got me away from my torturing father and help me realise my worth. He helped me fall in love and feel alive, to notice Earth's beauty and its downfalls, but still be in awe. 

He made me feel human and normal, even though we're far from it. Being mad at him and cursing to never see him is wrong — it's quite the opposite, still.

Hearing the door open, I shut my eyes. All through this, I know the Justin today isn't the same I thought I knew from a year ago. I now know of his murders, his career and his doings. I've heard of the dark side of Justin Bieber, the things he didn't want me to know, and it startles me — if everything is true, what do I do?

Feeling someone brush against my arm, I open my tired eyes and turn to them. "Hi," Justin whispers, facing me while leaning his shoulder on the wall.

"Hi," I reply, trying to muster a smile.

Noticing my weak smile, his drops. Licking his lips, he admits, "I should've told you."

I chuckle, shaking my head. "It's a bit too late now." Facing him, I watch his smile grow.

"I don't know why I do certain things sometimes. My anger just gets the best of me." Looking down, he clears his throat. "Selena, you drive me insane. Not seeing you, seeing you, hearing you. Everything you do."

I smile. "You don't know what you want, do you?" I question.

He meets my stare, his eyes piercing into me. "I know that everyday sitting in prison made me want you. It made me want to tell you how much you mean to me, and made me want to scream at you for what you do to me. It made me want to touch you the most."

My lips slowly part. Wind that howls through the trees steals the air in my lungs.

He steps closer to me, closer to my undying desires, closer to my body that tingles. His lips are wet from the amount of times he licks them, and my heart hurts. I so badly want to greet his with my own, to allow my pleasure to get the best of me, but I don't.

Instead, I think of Nick.

Nick is the very guy every girl deserves, willing to sacrifice everything to make me happy and please me, willing to wait for the longest of times until I was finally ready to indulge into a new relationship that isn't with Justin. He's the very guy I could imagine a future with.