His Crime

Chapter Eighteen

Promising Justin to stay indoors all day, he leaves without a further word. Hearing the door slam behind him and the roar of an engine awakening, my damned thoughts follow him all the way to Nick's apartment, the pounding on his door and to the venomous fight unfold; my mind imagines Nick in every way possible ending up hurt, with Justin threatening him in the most sinister way.

As I try to process the fight I've created, worry writhing through me at the thought of both of them being hurt, I mindlessly make my way downstairs, ignoring Anna's chipper welcome and Erick's absence.

If Nick remains sarcastic, the way he was with me, then this whole event will be worse. I can't help but think if Nick will reveal my presence there yesterday, right after I left Justin, even though Justin just showed new purpose for his hatred to him.

But would Justin be silly enough to show up to Nick's apartment to provoke a fight while he's being hunted for? I remember Erick's cautiousness towards Justin's stay with me, the panic seeping into his eyes when the police were too close to recapturing him last time he was here, yet would he give permission to Justin to see Nick for the first time in a very long time, fresh from new information that invoked new hatred?

I can't think of any explanation that Erick would accept Justin's actions to release new information for his whereabouts, especially from a fight. But Erick isn't here, which either means he's condoning Justin's actions or trying to stop him. And if he is trying to stop him, I need to be there also, to try talk sense into Justin and stop everything escalating.

Having missed the opportunity this morning to, I won't miss another. This isn't the right place to mark territory, in the middle of a search for Justin and especially because of a person. I am not territory to fight over, and this new sense of mind snaps me into realisation: I do not need protection, from danger or a person. I am capable by myself, and the year away from Justin surely proves this. If I didn't have his so called protection for a year, I don't need it for any more years to come.

I don't need sheltering, and if Justin doesn't realise this then there's a problem. I won't be a damsel in distress.

Igniting my new purpose, I propose to find Justin myself and explain my revelation before any further damage can be done. While this seems idealistic, I'm prompt with a new dilemma: I don't know where he is. If Erick knows what Justin's going to do, I imagine him to tell him to do it miles away from here, nowhere near the house or Nick's apartment.

But if Erick doesn't know, then my best hope is Nick's place.

As I start my journey there, Anna stops me by the door as she asks, "Hey, hon. Where you going?"

"For a walk," I lie. I know Anna always has pure intentions, but I don't need being talked out of by her. This is something I have to do.

She eyes me curiously, wonderment dancing in her eyes as she ponders whether to believe me or my unbelievable lie. And just as I believe she'll call me out, tell me not to intervene with something as scary as this, her lips curl up. "Call me if you need me," she offers before embracing me.

Bidding goodbye, I leave the house and think about Anna's choice of words. How her eyes swam from curiosity to worry, and how she hugged me goodbye as if this will be the last.

~~~

The clouds dance around the large and tall building, which is filled of windows throughout it's existence. As I approach the blue door which grants me entrance, I press for Nick's door number on the intercom. Buzzing, I hope that Nick's voice will flow out of the speaker, letting me enter and assuring that Justin hasn't hurt him yet, but there's no response. Pushing the button again, I hold it eagerly until whoever's inside will wonder and hopefully answer.