[He's My Cousin Book 2] They say time heals all the wounds. But what comes after healed wounds? A chance for a new beginning? Finally a happy ever after? Or just another broken heart?
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In the twenty-one years of my life, I never begged for anything and given the kind of life I was living until recently, I never thought I'll ever beg for something. Not in this lifetime at least. But I did.
I begged for her to stay.
Gano'n pala talaga 'yon. You can't just let her slip away from your very eyes. Susubok ka, kahit alam mong wala nang patutunguhan pa. Ibibigay mo pa rin lahat kahit maubos ka.
But despite all that, she still gave up on me. Kahit anong maka-awa ko, kahit anong pagsusumamo ko... Wala. Pagtapos ng lahat nang pinagdaanan namin, bumitaw na lang siya nang gano'n-gano'n lang.
I haven't slept a wink since it happened last night. It only happened last night but the pain and agony felt like it has been embedded in me for eons.
Tangina, how can you miss someone this bad when the last time you were with her was less than twenty-four hours ago?
Paulit-ulit kong binabalikan 'yung nangyari sa San Vicente. Where did it went wrong? Napagod na siya? Did she miss the comforts of her life that bad? What mistake did I actually make for her decided to leave just like that?
I shut my eyes tight. Puta. It's fucking my mind. I just wish all my thoughts would go down the drain but they fucking won't. Ni hindi nga ako makatulog. Maybe I'll just drown myself with booze later. Maybe that could solve this. Maybe.
I checked my wrist watch. It's almost lunch time. Mas lalo akong gumilid sa tabi ng College of Arts and Sciences pero tiniyak ko pa ring kita ko 'yung mga lumalabas sa building. I fixed the hood of my jacket. Mahirap na, baka may makakita pa sa aking kakilala. The last thing I want now was a small talk with anyone I knew back in college. I just needed to see her. Iyon lang naman ang ipinunta ko rito.
It was a few minutes after that when I saw the familiar face I was looking for. Without a second thought, I grabbed her wrist. Nanlaki ang mga mata niya nang makita niya kung sino ako. But even before she could say anything, I brought her away from the crowd.
When we stopped in an empty corner, she looked up to me with her eyes dominated by worry and hope. "Kuya Paolo," hindi makapaniwala niyang sabi. "N-nasaan si Aya? Nasaan ang best friend ko?" Luminga-linga siya sa paligid. "Is she with you? Nasa'n siya? Saan ba kayo nagpunta?"
When Aya and I left Manila months ago, I knew there was a rift between them, but knowing she still cares for Aya just as much as Aya does to her, it kind of put me in peace. Aya needs her. She needs her friends back. Kung iniwan niya ako para makabalik sa kung ano ang buhay niya bago ako... then she might as well get everything back. All of it. Kung 'yun lang din naman ang ikakasaya niya.
When I heard her cry after I closed the door last night, I broke. Gusto kong bumalik sa loob at yakapin siya. Gusto kong sabihin sa kanya na patuloy pa rin akong maghihintay sa kanya kahit ano pang mangyari. Na nandito lang ako. Na walang magbabago sa pagmamahal ko sa kanya. But I was hurt and tired too; I walked away. Bugbog na bugbog na ako para lumaban pa kung ayaw na rin naman niya.
