promised || sequel to trusted {COMPLETED}

13. razer blades & realization

hey guys I just wanted to let you know there is a trigger warning so when you see ⭐️⭐️ it's coming so if it bothers you please skip!!

Dylan POV

"You know you have to talk to him about it right? " Devyn said. "Why? He already knows I'm getting married what is there to talk about?" I asked. She gave me a look. "Devyn I don't want to I can't" I mumbled. "You need to, you have to" She said. I looked down. "I can't" I said quietly. She stood up and grabbed my hand. "Uh where are we going?" I asked nervously somehow we ended up right in front of jakes door.

Devyn knocked on his door and ran away. "What! Devyn!" I whisper-yelled. Before I had time to walk away the door opened. I was now face to face with Jake. "Uh Dylan?" He questioned. "Hey Jake" I said looking down. "Um come in" he said opening the door all the way. I nodded and walked in. "So did you need to talk to me or?" He asked.

"Yeah yeah I needed to talk to you" I said. He walked over to his bed while I was still standing. He looked at me and patted the seat next to him. I walked over and sat next to him. "So what's up?" He asked. "I'm guessing you know" I said looking up at him. "Yeah I know" he said quietly and slowly not looking at me. that just broke my heart. hold back tears Dylan. Keep yourself together Dylan.

"Congrats" he said after a second. He looked down at my hand. "Why aren't you wearing the ring?" He asked. I looked at my hand and moved it out of view. "I-I don't know I haven't put it on since-" I stopped. "Hey Dylan are you ok?" He asked looking at me with his big brown eyes that could make anyone melt by looking in them. "Are you?" I asked quietly. I honestly didn't know if I wanted the answer. He bit his lip and looked away.

"Do you want the truth?" He asked looking back at me. I nodded hesitantly. "No" he laughed and then sniffed. Is he crying. "I always thought it would be me and you" he said quietly. "You always promised that" I said letting a tear drop. I still wouldn't look at him. "It kills me" he started I looked up at him his eyes were red "it kills me seeing you with him & you laugh knowing I didn't cause it" he said looking at me.

"It's been two years Dylan" he said "and you still fuck me up" he chuckled. "Every time i see you I want to run up to you and hug you, kiss you, call you mine" he said quietly. "Now that wouldn't happen in a million years" he said looking away. "I-" I started but bit my lip to hold back tears. "Do- do you think it's bad that-" I stopped. "That what?" He asked. "That i don't tell Ashton anything" I mumbled.

"dylan" he said I didn't look at him "Dylan look at me" he said. I looked up at him "have you told him about calum?" He asked calmly. I shook my head slowly. "I'm so scared" I cried. Jake stood up. "Come here" he said opening his arms. I stood up and cried on his shoulder. "Shhh" he said rubbing my back. "I don't think I can do it jake" I said through my cries. "do what?" he asked.

I let go of him and stood in front of him. "do what?" he repeated. I sighed and walked out of his room straight to my car and straight to my apartment. "I'm gonna do it" I said as I sat in the apartment parking lot. "I'm doing it" I said again. I got out of the car and wiped my tears. Went straight up to the apartment and opened the door. Ashton was writing something in the kitchen. "Hey baby how was Devyns?" He asked them looked up at me. "Why are you crying?" He asked getting up.

I'm gonna say it I'm gonna say it. I opened my mouth to say it but nothing came out. I'm not gonna say it. "I'm gonna go take a shower" I mumbled. "Are you ok?" He asked. I nodded while my brain screamed NO. "Ok I have band practice I'll be back later baby" he said kissing my forehead.

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I nodded and went to the bathroom and cried and cried and cried. I can't do it anymore. "I can't do it anymore" I said as I got up off the bathroom floor. I looked at myself in the mirror. your pathetic. your the reason all this bad shit is happening to you. It's your fault.
"No it's not" I said out loud trying to fight my thoughts. but it is. I looked down at the drawer. "No" I said to myself. open it.

I opened it and saw my old razor blade packet. "No I'm almost 2 years clean" I said. open the packet. I opened it and grabbed a new blade. I started crying with it in my hand. It will help you know it will. "It won't!" I yelled. I took a deep breath and brought it to my wrist. In one swift motion blood was running down my arm. I started crying. i quickly wrapped up my arm with gauze and walked out and realized I'm not happy. I'm not happy with Ashton. I can't do it anymore. I can't.

Word court: 937

shit didn't mean to do that to you but I don't know this is making me sad. Do you think she will stay with ash?