Going Soft | JAMES SIRIUS POTTER HP NEXT GENERATION

xix || not your fault

The body on the bed next to him stirred, lifting his head off the pillow. "James?"

"Oh Merlin, Albus!" James exclaimed. ""You're awake."

"Yeah, how long was I out for?" He groaned.

"Not too long, but several hours. Scorpius and Dad left not that long ago to get food. But I'm so sorry, this is all my bloody fault—"

Albus weakly raised a hand and cut him off. "Your fault? James last I recall you aren't the one who cast the spell. How could it have been your fault?"

"Because I was threatened using you and Scorpius. I was told if I continued hanging around Annabella, you two would pay for it, but I didn't see the note until after I had already talked to her and—" James was interrupted by Albus again.

"Bloody hell, whoever threatened you, it was their fault yeah? Not yours, you couldn't have known. But do you know who did it?" Albus questioned him sleepily.

James stared at him. "Wait, you aren't mad at me? You don't even seem upset about the fact that you were injured? Do you even really remember what happened?" He asked slowly.

"I was hexed? And then probably hit my head or something right?" Albus recounted groggily, his head still slightly murky as he had been unconscious for a while. It was then James realized that he hadn't seen himself yet.

"Albus...look at yourself. That's not exactly what happened." James said nervously.

Albus looked down and paled. While his wounds weren't opened anymore, he was still a dreadful sight. Having been drained of so much blood the usual flush to his skin was gone, replaced by a lifeless shade of white, almost grey. Jagged scar tissue covered his arms and presumably his stomach underneath his shirt as well. Nothing that was unfixable, but it would take time and numerous potions.

James could hardly bare to look at him—not because of how he looked—but because he knew he was the reason to why he looked the way he did.

"Oh." Albus mumbled.

"I'm so sorry," James whispered.

"Could you please leave?" He asked his older brother, and James froze. Albus noticed James's panic and he spoke up again.

"Not—I'm not mad you. I don't blame you. I-I just want to be alone right now if that's okay. If you see Dad or Scorp tell them to wait a little before they visit me even though I'm sure they'll want to know I'm awake." Albus requested.

"I-yeah okay. Uh, I'll let Madam Pomfrey know." James said sadly, feeling like he let his little brother down majorly even though Albus swore he didn't.

He let the nurse know on his way out that Albus was awake, and to deny and visitors for the time being until he was ready to see everybody. James felt uneasy knowing he was leaving his injured brother alone, but he knew no harm would come to him in the hospital wing.

Sighing, he carried on out of the ward, not sure as to where his feet were taking him until he bumped into a much smaller body than his.

"Oh, finally you show your face to me," a small voice snarled, and James looked down to see a girl with red hair as fierce as her expression.

James's mouth dropped open.

"Based off of your expression I'm guessing you totally forgot about me, right? Too wrapped up in Annabella?" Lily drawled. "Had to find out about her from Albus and Dad, by the way."

"Oh my god. Lily I'm so sorry, I've just been so busy lately I never payed you any visits even though we're in the same house my god—" James said as his voice cracked and tears welled up in his eyes. "I'm so shit I'm the worst older brother ever."

Lily's eyes widened and all hostility left them. "Oh James, I was kidding. Are you alright? Do you want to visit Albus with me?" She asked with the closest amount to concern in her voice that she'd ever have towards nearly anyone.

James shook his head. "Albus doesn't want to see anyone right now because he hates how he looks I think and it-it's all my fault Lily," he confessed.

Lily smacked him on the arm, hard.

Flinching away, James gasped. "Why the hell did you do that?"

"Just trying to knock the bullshit out of you. Stop saying it's your fault! Scorpius was crying to me about how he didn't want you to feel guilty—and honestly it was a bit annoying. But I agree with him! The only one at fault is the person who did this, and I'm sure Albus told you the same thing before you left. Okay?" Lily exclaimed.

James nodded reluctantly, not fully believing her. Sensing that, she awkwardly patted his shoulder as she had never really been one for hugs.

"Now uh, Bella is in quite a state since you disappeared on her and after she found out what happened to Albus, she's insistent she talks to you. She's further down the corridor, I'd go talk to the poor girl if I were you," Lily said and marched down the hall, most likely to visit Albus despite his wishes to not see anyone.

Sometimes it baffles James how Lily could be wise and immature all the same.

He continued down the hall until he saw Annabella, and his nerves intensified.

"Hey Bella," he said softly as she looked up at him with concern evident in her eyes. "We need to talk."

~~~
I feel like this chapter was kind of all over the place. I wasn't originally going to write Lily into it and then I realized, have I even mentioned her at all yet ?????? I kinda forgot she exists ?????? Whoops
Anyways, sorry for leaving off on sort of a cliffhanger? Idk?
But the next chapter should be up next week, so I hope you guys enjoy this one in the meantime!