Be Mine - Thomas Sharpe X Reader (Erotica)

Simmering Tension

In the days that follow I scarcely get to see much of Thomas, which confirms some of my worst fears.

Instead of returning to Allerdale Hall as planned, Lady Lucille decides to stay on at the inn, presumably so that she and Thomas can spend more time becoming better acquainted with Mr Harwood and his daughter.

I have no actual proof that Thomas is simply an heir-hunter, and if I'm honest with myself, I don't know which would be worse.....Thomas pursuing a woman solely for her fortune, or courting her because he is genuinely interested in finding a wife.

Either way, as one long day rolls into another, and I see less and less of him, it becomes increasingly apparent that he is willing to spend his time in her company, and therefore must be developing a fondness for her.

She is rather pretty, with her chestnut coloured curls, rosy complexion and dainty stature. She has neat features, and an elegant nose that turns up at the end.

In comparison, she makes me feel very unladylike and unattractive indeed.

Every day Thomas and Lucille venture out with the Harwoods, visiting local places of interest, such as the Museum, the large local park, and the theatre.

In the meantime, I remain mostly in my room, feeling dejected.
If it wasn't for Hannah's company, I think I would be in an asylum by now. Having gone mad from irrational jealousy.

I've no right to be jealous really. Thomas is not my intended or my suitor.
He isn't even my lover, not really, as we haven't actually made love.
Nor are we likely to.
Not now.

All I can do is observe him from a distance with his sister and Miss Harwood, and occasionally I get to be in his presence but I have to keep silent. Lady Lucille calls on me to fetch things for her from time to time, but I suspect that's merely to impress the Harwoods. She wants them to see she has a servant in tow.

I wish Thomas would summon me, but he doesn't. And whenever I'm sent for by Lucille, there's this unmistakable simmering tension, bubbling beneath the surface.
Lady Sharpe is hostile towards me, and I'm resentful of Miss Amy. Thomas is noticeably on edge and twitchy, whilst I'm burning to talk to him.
But I have absolutely no chance of having a moment with him alone.
And even though he isn't my lover, this doesn't stop me from feeling hurt.

I'm so pained by this period of separation, I find myself contemplating returning to Thaxted somehow, and going back to my family.
Severing all connections with Thomas might prove to be less painful than having to watch from afar, ignored, as he woos another woman.
If I leave, I'll be sparing myself further pain in the long run.

"You've fallen for him haven't you (Y/N)?" Hannah turns and says to me now, as she perches next to me on the end of my bed. "It's written all over your face. You've got it bad."

"I have not!" I argue defiantly, even though my blushes give me away. "How can I have fallen for him? I've not known him all that long."

Hannah shrugs, then places a comforting arm around my shoulders. "That's the thing with love, you don't choose it. It chooses us. You can't help how you feel. And he is devilish handsome." She pauses a moment, looking thoughtful. "But he's also a bit of a cad. Gallivanting around with that Amy Harwood, leaving you stuck in here all day by yourself."

I bristle with annoyance. She's hit a nerve, and the worst part is, she has a point.
Even though he's my master, and I've no right to complain, knowing what we've shared, he could at least make more of an effort to talk to me.
But still, I can't help defending him.