After school I drive home and flop on my bed,I lay there looking at the ceiling fan as it spins,round,and round in a circle. I hear my phone go off,at first I am to lazy to look at what it is,maybe its a Youtube notification or maybe pinterest,so I don't bother to look at it,until I get another notification,I pick my phone up and see it's a text from Phil.
Phil:Come pick me up.
Me:why?
Phil:Wanna hang.
I grabbed my keys and headed out the door,not bothering to tell my dad where i'm going,not that he cares anyways. I drive to Phil's house and text him that I was outside his. He comes running out,when he gets in the car he slides in the seat and greats me with a smile.
"Hey." He says putting his phone in his back pocket. I smile at him.
"Where we going?" I ask.
"Let's just drive,anywhere." He says,he looks,really,really fucking upset,I think about asking him what's wrong,but I don't.
We drive along the roads.It stays silent for a good 10 minutes until Phil asks his question.
"You're not a flake are you?"
I raise my eyebrow.He catches on that I don't know what i'm talking about.He sighs.
"Your not gonna bail on me right?"
"Of course not,as long as you don't bail on me."
I'm not going to lie,the thought about death,even though I crave it,so,so very much,it can be a little scary to think about,like,what happends to our energy? It can't be cut off,so what happends to it then? I don't usually like to think about stuff like that,but I can't help it,cause it always drifts into mind.
"I am not a flake,but i'm not so sure about you."
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I shout a bit.
"I don't know,you look like-." He stops himself there.
"Proceed." I say raising one eyebrow.
"You look like,you want to die,but your not so sure about it."
I don't say anything,because in a way he is right,but then again he is wrong,I want to die,very badly,but every now and then,I second guess it,but then I think back to what my mum has done and how she ruined my life and think well there is no reason to live anymore.
"I'm not a flake." I say between my teeth.
"We'll see about that."
I want to turn to him and slap him,but then I know for a fact he will think I am crazy.
We keep driving then Phil asks me if I want to go o a park.
"Sure." I say.
"Turn right."
I turn right and we arrive at a park.
YOU ARE READING
Our hearts are a black hole
Fanfiction*WARNING: CONTAINS TALK ABOUT SUICIDE AND MENTAL HEALTH PROBLEMS ALONG WITH SELF HARM! DO NOT READ IF THESE ARE TRIGGERS! somewhat based off the book "My heart and other black holes" Dan is planning on committing suicide,because o what his mother...
