The days are inching closer and closer,and the closer they get,the more I am starting to regret making the decision I made. I wonder if Phil thinks the same thing. Probably not,he is looking forward to this day more than I am.Honestly,I am not looking forward to it as much as I was in the first place.
Phil💕is calling you...
I pick up.
"Hello?"
"Dan.."
"Yes?"
"Come here..now."
"why?"
"NOW!"
I hang up and drive to Phil's house,he gets in the car,tears streaming down his face.
"Phil?"
I go to touch his cheeks.
"drive."
i don't move.
"I SAID FUCKING DRIVE!"
I slam the gas pedal,my heart racing,I didn't know what was wrong with Phil,he was sad? No he was angry? Both? I don't know! I just knew that he was crying and yelling.
"stop."
He says once we get to the park. He gets out runs to the bench,I run after him.
"Phil? Are you okay?"
He shakes his head.
"I can't do this anymore."
"what?"
"I live with the fucking guilt every fucking day please I just want it to stop!" He screams.
I hold him.
"Shh,hush baby,it's okay."
I couldn't see him like this,I know he is more than this,I have seen it,he can switch everything around right?? He didn't have to die,I didn't want to die anymore! And I can't live without Phil! I can change his mind? Right?
He falls asleep in my arms,I play with his hair.
I fall asleep.
When Phil wakes up he wakes me up.
"Hey,feeling better?"
"yeah." He says smiling. "thank you dan."
I smile.
"Phil?"
"Hmm?"
"If you weren't going to die in less than a week,what would you do with your life?"
"ARE YOU SERIOUS DAN!?
"What?" My eyes grow wide
fuck what did I do?
"ARE YOU REALLY GOING TO FLAKE ON ME!? WE HAVE CAME ALL THIS WAY! AND YOU ARE GOING TO BAIL ON ME NOW?"
'No!Phil! No! I,was,I was just wondering!"
"Whatever."
Everything goes silent.
Phil peeps up. "Take me home."
I walk to the car,ahead of him,I don't feel like talking to him.
YOU ARE READING
Our hearts are a black hole
Fanfiction*WARNING: CONTAINS TALK ABOUT SUICIDE AND MENTAL HEALTH PROBLEMS ALONG WITH SELF HARM! DO NOT READ IF THESE ARE TRIGGERS! somewhat based off the book "My heart and other black holes" Dan is planning on committing suicide,because o what his mother...
