Don't Try [Poetry]

frigid sparkle stars

frigid sparkle stars

november6twenty18

and with november tides, rolling in you and I, key's e flat and the moon is out. now that the initial yearlong tear has caused its pain completely, it subsides into nothingness. left with vague obsession and overflowing anxieties that are worth more in volume than the things I care so much about.

we shivered in the breeze and huddled to keep warm; now icicles drip from my eyes. we're eternal, but you're still missing.

it all feels too wrong. head's gone off and left me, my heart's aimless boundless empty, the drain feels like a mirror. and yet I'm pasting corners together, nailing bandaids over bottomless chasms. ghosting away from the world long enough to forget the plagues of yesterday, secondary guilt subconsciously cutting up my insides, but not for long, not for long.

stuffing melty icicles down into my heart, so empty and devoid of emotion. one wrong move and an unhappy explosion of heated misfeeling shatters across my body and, afterward, leaves me even more numb.

I loved the sky for you, because we are the sky - I look up and stuff icicles. clustered in toxic batches lie my love for you, buried deep inside myself. left out in the open for much longer and I would have been gone so much longer ago.

and sometimes the rain washes the earth away, the corners of weathered memories peeking up from the ground. I sit and stare a while, a million parts feeling but not knowing how. listening to a familiar tune makes their emotional carry-on rise like phantoms from the grave, weighing so much more without you here next to me.

always left reaching but never grasping, I love the sky and you. both seem unattainably far away. oh how nice it'd be to become the stars with you-