Cashby // one mistake

Chapter Eleven

Alan's P.O.V.

That night I lay in my bunk, frustrated. We were already on our way to New York for the first Warped Tour of the year; in about a week still. I know I'm not especially proud of my current "sexuality", gosh, Austin makes me feel so different and..weird.

I stared at the ceiling bunk, my eyes taking in the details of wood. To our fans this would be completely normal. But to me...no, this isn't normal. I have a problem. That last sentence reminded me of one of Beartooth's songs. Ha.

I wonder what Phil's deal is, though. He seems disgusted -- I would be too if I were him. But sometimes it seems as if Tino and him could be that way as well, that way as in our way. Austin and I's.

There was no "Austin and I".

But to him...there probably is. I closed my eyes. Yesterday, I shouldn't have given in to those eyes, that smile, I shouldn't have kissed him. I need to make him think I don't feel this way. Especially with Warped so close. I probably sound like an asshole right now.

"Everybody loves Austin."

Austin's P.O.V.

"It's been two fucking days and Alan practically hasn't said a word since the beach!" I ranted to Phil.

"He's been talking quite alot, I think." Phil seemed to want to shrug it off and just continue watching South Park.

"But not to me! You know what happened! Everything was going so well..." I felt so lost, frustrated even. I leaned back on to the couch but my muscles failed to relax. I cracked my knuckles.

"Austin, have you ever thought about the fact that...Alan is straight." Phil rubbed his forehead with annoyance.

"Yes but -"

"Then maybe he's fucking uncomftorable around you. Because I know I kind of am." Phil stood up, throwing me the remote before heading back to his bunk. It was too late for this kind of frustration. I need to find something to do...something to keep me occupied. I checked my phone.

9:47

It's a bit late. I don't want to sleep, I want to figure things out with Alan. But he's probably asleep. Everyone else is asleep, there's not much I can do.

When I finally gave in to the tiredness, I walked past Alan's bunk before stopping in my tracks. I cautiously opened his curtain, studying the 'Ginger princess'. He was so tough; he acted so tough. I got lost in his presence, unable to clearly process things.

Damn, he's not even awake. I shouldn't be feeling so....emotional. I blinked, my eyes almost clouding. Please stop ignoring me. Silently, I leaned forward and kissed Alan slightly on the cheeck, my lips lingering as I breathed in his smell.

"Sleep well, babe." I whispered, before retreating to my bunk. If only he knew this is not all a game to me.

________

A/N

OKAY SO

YES this was about the shortest chapter and I'm sorry but I don't think anyone cares >.<  so yolo

YES I started another fanfiction pleeeeaseee go check it out its Brusnop

SADLY school starts very soon, but I shall update whenever I can. Once again sorry for the short and very lame filler chapter I guesss, you guys should comment because that would be rad. Haha, ok....thanks again for reading IF you read this far, yay (: