Austin's P.O.V.
I don't want to accept the fact that I might just be in love with Alan - I'm not even sure what would make me straight again unless Alan turns in to a woman. Which isn't happening. But then again, all this time I've been proving myself a man and not being gay for a day, because Sierra was actually a very nice person and I wanted my old life back.
But seeing Alan collapse to the ground like that really breaks my heart. I studied his perfect ginger hair, his perfect eyes as he finally looked up at me.
Oh Alan, fuck you and your perfection. I knelt done, obviously not meaning to stay long on the floor.
"Alan, I didn't kiss her. Don't be jealous - you shouldn't even be jealous. You're a man, and so am I." I whispered, believing not half of my words. I'd be jealous, too...especially since I kind of started this. At the Aquarium, the interview, etc.
"But....Austin." Alan mumbled through his tears. "You confused me, I fell for you, it seemed as if you wanted this. But now you're off with some girl again. Stop fucking with my emotions."
I didn't know what to say, part of me just wanted to kneel down and kiss his forehead, his little fragile self. But I couldn't do that, not now. Probably not even ever. "I'm not off with some girl."
"Then why doesn't Cashby live...exist?" Alan retorted. "After everything that happened, I was so sure you had fallen for me as well."
"So this turned in to you confessing your love to me?" I answered, unsure and frustrated. Alan needs to calm down. Did I really seem that way? Of course. At one point I had wanted us.
"Alan..." I almost choked out now.
Alan glared at me, the tears staining his cheek. Gosh, I think I do want him, real bad. Forever.
"Austin, I just want you."
"...I," I seemed to have frozen, my mind spinning. "Trust me, Alan, I do too..."
Alan stared me down, now, possibly searching for emotion or whatnot. I blinked, my expression blank. Was I really getting what I wanted, after all this time? Cashby had been such a great idea, I wanted to see maybe it would be a good idea.
Alan flashed me an awkward smile, before standing up. He looked a bit embarrased, shy, frustrated, and a hot mess. I stepped forward to hug him, his small fragile body. I wasn't even sure who was watching.
Everything was still wrong; I can't decide what I really want. Was this even right? Was I just thinking I wanted us because of the fans? Or is it more than that.
Oh fuck.
Phil's P.O.V.
I saw nothing between them two, maybe it was just the hatred of this situation. Or maybe because I will never be able to look at them the same again. I never told Austin to go off and fuck Alan, did I? No. That was the most awkward situation.
Author's note
ok so I have schooool and spooorts and when I come home I'm not in the greatest mood, so I'm going to stop here and pick up on it some other time. I don't have time for wattpad right now so I hope I can update again....some other time. bye!
YOU ARE READING
Cashby // one mistake
FanfictionAlan Ashby and Austin Carlile are falling for eachother.