Honour

XXII : Don't Hold Back

    You walked up the flight of stairs, cringing at how sore your legs were from the struggle with Roma. Why did the bedrooms have to be all the way on the third floor?

    Once standing in front of Urie's door, you hesitantly knocked on it. It's not that you were nervous about him lashing out at you or anything. You can handle Urie's silent wrath pretty well, it's just that you're still not certain on how you'll convince him that he doesn't have to be ashamed for anything. To cheer him up, you'd need to know what's bothering him and right now, you have no fucking idea.

    "What do you want?" Kuki muttered as he opened the door and glared.

    "I want to talk." You answered with as much confidence as you could muster up. Without a word, Kuki pushed the door open a bit more and walked back in to take a seat in front of a canvas. You let yourself in and closed the door behind you, looking at his unfinished art.

    "It's... It looks good." You complimented as you stood next to him, observing his movements as he worked on the painting.

    "What do you want to talk about?" The male asked. He must already know. He's probably just playing dumb.

    "I want to talk about what's bothering you."

    "Nothing's bothering me."

    "Oh, please." You rolled your eyes and crossed your arms over your chest. "You never flee a discussion like you just did a few minutes ago. Something's bothering you big time and I'm not gonna stand there and watch it eat you up."

    "Nothing's bothering me." He insisted. Oh, hey, when did he stop painting? Yeah, something's bothering him.

    "I don't know why you insist on lying to yourself, Kuki, but keeping whatever it is you have canned up inside isn't good for you. It's going to fester up and hurt you even more, one day." You insisted. It seems you got his full attention now, seeing as he placed his art stuff on the ground. "Kuki, I'm your friend and seeing how you act with others, I think we're pretty good friends." You might be overthinking things but hey- whatever gets him to speak up. "I'm here for you and I want  to help you."

    He still didn't utter a single word.

    "Kuki, what's the matter?"

    The male scratched his head, probably debating whether or not he should come clean.

    "I feel like shit." He finally muttered.

    "Why do you feel like shit?" You asked, sitting on the edge of his bed to get to an eye-to-eye level with him.

    "I wasn't strong enough to hold back." He explained. "Because of how weak and pathetic I am, you nearly died."

    "Kuki, you're not..."

    "Don't lie to me. I'm useless and I'm aware of it." He cut off. "If I weren't, I wouldn't have attacked you."

    "Oi, don't cut me off." You sternly said. "You're not useless. You're not pathetic. You're not weak, Kuki. You're fucking strong. And determined, and you have a huge purpose. Not only in this squad, but in my life. There are a lot of things I wouldn't be or wouldn't have done if you weren't in my life. And anyone would have snapped in your case, just a lot earlier. You were able to deal with the overwhelming symptoms for well over fifteen minutes before they took over, Kuki. If it were me, I wouldn't have lasted for more than two."

    The purple haired teen looked up, making (incredibly intense) eye contact with you. "Are you telling the truth?"

    "Nothing but the truth." You assured, looking at him with as much honesty as you could muster up. "And I don't even have the right to be mad at you, considering you saved my life." You gave him a gentle smile, which he reciprocated for an instant.

    "You owe me." He spoke. Ah, it looked like a weight was lifted from his shoulders. You knew the guilt wouldn't completely go away, but at least he knew you were there for him, now.

    "Shut up, Mr. Manipulator. I don't owe you anything because you didn't say so before you came to the rescue." You shot back, smiling.

    It felt nice to go to something that was somewhat more normal. There was just one last thing you wanted to make clearer...

    "Hey, Kuki?"

    "Yes?" He answered as he picked up his paint and a brush from the floor, going back to his painting.

    "Do you recall what you told me before you passed out, back at the school?"

    The male didn't even have time to dip his paint brush in the small jug of water next to him before he ceased his movements yet again. You were really interrupting his flow of creativity, weren't you?

    When he refused to answer, you decided to do most of the talking yourself. "I take it you do."

    "I'm sorry I couldn't hold it  back." He mutters.

    You frowned, not instantly understanding what he was referring to. What was 'it'? You played the scene back in your head, almost facepalming at your obliviousness. If you get any stupider, you could easily become a protagonist in some stupid romance story.

    "I think I understand what you're saying." You answered, getting up.

    Urie didn't look up from his painting, expecting you to leave. He understands. What he told you back then was completely unprofessional and must have scared you. Great job, Kuki Urie. You scared off the one person who had the potential to become your best friend.

    After a few moments, the boy frowned when he didn't hear the door to his room close shut behind you. Had you not left yet?

    He spun around on his chair, almost falling off when he noticed you still standing at the foot of his bed. "Can you not stand there like you're possessed by the devil himself?" He scolded as he attempted to calm his racing heartbeat without you noticing how alarmed he was.

The real alarming thing was how in the sixteen years he was alive, no one ever managed to get that kind of reaction out of him, no matter how hard they tried. By now, he isn't even sure you're human. You're probably some kind of siren.

    "Sorry." You chuckled. "I just... I was debating on whether or not I should do this." You explained, sauntering towards him. It was almost intimidating, in a way. Urie craned his neck to keep eye contact with you when you got closer to where he was sitting.

    You slowly leaned down towards him. Any time now, he could stop you if he were to feel uncomfortable. To be honest, you expected him to do so anyways. But as you leaned closer and closer to his face, Kuki did nothing to stop you.

    Well, here we go. You closed the distance between the two of you, gently placing your lips on his. One of your hands found its way to his cheek, gently stroking it as both of his arms wrapped around your waist.

    The kiss lingered for a few moments before you pulled away but remained in a close proximity to Kuki's face. You smiled down at him as he looked up at you with amazement. It was nice; you were seeing an entirely new expression on his face.

Your hand that wasn't on his face laid on top of his, on your waist. You gave him another kiss. This one was more like a peck, however.

    "Don't hold back."