Monster Falls

Chapter 29

"YOU DID WHAT?"

The wooden walls of the Mystery Shack seemed to shake with the velocity of the sphinx's booming voice. Stan winced, feeling the wings on his back go stiff-straight. This had been a terrible, terrible idea. "'Eh, Six, just listen to me alright? I didn't just—"

Ford's chest shook with a deep, heavy breath, trying to comprehend the news his twin had just delivered. "So, let me get this straight. You went to talk to the agents even though I specifically told you not to?" The tension in the air was so thick it could be cut with a fork, much less with a knife.

Stan grimaced. That one sounded a little worse out loud than it had in his head. "Yep."

"You fought with them."

The pain in his back he would later have from drooping his head would be insane. "Uh–huh."

Ford cocked a brow, brown eyes widening. "You gave one of them water from the Fluvius, made them unconscious, then packed them up into your car—with Dipper, I may add—and carted them to our house?"

Stan chuckled nervously, clawed hand scratching behind his ear. "Yeah, uh, that sounds about it!"

The silence seemed to last for hours, Stan's last word hanging in the air. The hostility in the room was growing by the second, and Stanley was now really, totally, seriously regretting not just bringing the agents in, hiding them in his bedroom, and feeding them leftovers from dinner. Anything would be better than Ford yelling at him for doing something stupid. Again.

"Stanley!" The sphinx shouted in frustration. He had just about had it with all of his brother's antics. After all, he had been the one to start this whole thing in the first place!

"I brought them here for a reason, Sixer," Stan started, hoping his point would calm Ford down.

Ford's head shook wildly, coloured wings on his back tensing up. "I cannot think of one reason you would have to justify this, Stanley," the sphinx spat. Stan had to agree with him on that one. He had really just said that to save his own ass.

"Ok, so, let's say I don't," he mumbled, looking Ford right in the eye. "What would you do then?"

"I would tell you that I did not even believe you in the first place, because you are a man who was able to somehow justify selling other sentient beings water from a creek in a forest!" Ford yelled, voice reaching pre-portal heights. The words hung in the air, the only sound being the heavy breathing of the sphinx.

Ford turned around abruptly, his tail swinging behind him. The wooden floorboards creaked against his weight. "I'm going downstairs. Don't come down or try to talk to me. If you have a problem or get taken hostage by the United States Government, I want no part in it." The sphinx walked towards the vending machine, not even turning to look back at his brother.

"Well goodbye to you too, dear brother of mine!" Stan taunted back, crossing his hands over his chest. He could hear the hiss of the vending machine-elevator as it opened, the creak as Ford stepped in, and the echo of a hiss as it closed back up, the final draw of the curtains.

Stan groaned, putting his face in his hands. "Well that went well."

Pacifica Northwest groaned, trying for what seemed like the millionth time to walk—slither out of her room. You see, her life was like all other thirteen year olds. One day she was posting cute pictures of her golf cart to Instagram and the other she wakes up with snakes for hair and a butt.

She sighed, toppling down onto the floor out of exhaustion. "Maybe I should post something about this," she mumbled. "That'll totally bring me great attention," The girl deadpanned, grunting as she used her rather sore arms to pull herself back onto her bed. Her hair-snakes seemed to agree, hissing wildly.

Pacifica would've groaned at that a few hours ago, but she had gotten used to it. The snakes seemed to enjoy her dry sense of humor. She didn't want to admit it, but they were becoming a nice companion in her otherwise-lonely life.

The cold plastic of the television remote ran over her hand as she changed the channel to the news. Shandra Jimenez seemed to never quit, so why would she do it now? Pacifica stared at the tv, waiting for something, anything to happen, but it just went to static. She sighed, instead pulling out her cell phone. Service was down too. Wasn't this just a great time to be alive?

The sound of hooves clomping rang out across the room as Mabel paced across the kitchen, horn glowing a bright turquoise. Dipper and Stan had just done something way more terrible than usual, if Ford's louder-than-normal yelling gave anything away. Mabel sighed, staring out the window.

She really didn't want to know.

The unicorn rested her head on the kitchen table, the cool plastic spreading across her face. She had just tried to phone Candy and Grenda, but thanks to the whole monster thing the phone lines were down.

"How many more problems are we gonna have?" the girl wondered aloud, getting increasingly bored with their current situation. Mabel was a social person. Like, she thrived off of social interaction. Talking to the same five people every single day for almost two weeks was really starting to get to her.

"Ugh, I need some social interaction," Mabel mumbled, tossing her head back.

Then a miracle occurred. The phone rang!

Candy and Grenda!

The ground seemed to shake as the half-unicorn raced towards the phone. As her hands grazed the shiny red vinyl, she brought it up to her ear, anticipating the voice of the caller.

"...Hello?" a voice inquired

"Hiya, Mabel here!" she exclaimed, placing a hand to her hip. Oh sweet, sweet social interaction.

"Mabel?" the voice asked again, sounding unsure. "Like, Mabel Pines?" Something about that voice was very familiar. Dry, vocal fry, valley-girl eusque?

Mabel gasped. She knew exactly who this was. "Pacifica!"

Silence. "Uh, yeah, it's me," Pacifica's voice replied, sounding significantly less confident than normal.

Mabel cocked a brow. This was very unusual for two reasons. One, why the heck would Pacifica Northwest be calling them, and two, since when was Pacifica Northwest not confident. "Are you ok? You sound like you're not ok."

"Mabel, I—"

"Plus, you're phoning us! I never thought I would be able to get you to do that! Are we friends now or something?" Mabel said. Hey, all she wanted to know was the truth.

"Um. Yeah. I-I guess..." Pacifica spoke, trailing off. There was silence on the line for a few moments, until the blonde spoke again. "Listen, Mabel, I have a problem."

The half-unicorn cocked a brow. "With me? You didn't have to phone to say that, you know."

Pacifica scoffed from the other line. "No!" she exclaimed. "No, no, I just–" Silence again. "It's just really, really weird."

"Can't be weirder than my past few weeks!"

From the other line, Pacifica snorted. "Ok, but it's really complicated. Can we meet up somewhere to talk?"

Mabel nodded. "The general store at 10:00?"

"Sure," Pacifica spoke. "See you there."