Butterfly

Thirty

The boy tapped his fingers against the wooden desk, staring at the hands of the clock as they inched by. His backpack already packed and zipped, he anxiously waited for the bell to ring.

He was completely agonized with worry. He had been waiting all day for this moment. The moment he would finally be free and be able to run as fast as he could to the things that mattered most

Then finally; it rang.

He jumped out of his seat, nodding a goodbye to his teacher and then practically running through the halls of the school and out the front doors.

With his dark brown hair bouncing at each step, he made his way to the hospital that was only a few streets away. Stores and coffee shops flew past him in a blur. The other people moving along the sidewalk made small sounds of discomfort and disgust at the boy rushing past them with little muttered apology, nearly colliding with several people.

But he had to get there as fast as he could. As he ran, he could hardly even feel his throbbing head, grumbling stomach, and aching feet. He just didn't care. In that moment he only cared about one thing.

As he neared the building he slowed down his pace, feeling his heart beating almost straight out his chest. His shaky hands rubbed the straps of his backpack. He slowed and tried to breathe, looking around at the greenery around to help. There was a small park close to the hospital that he would go to sometimes to think. It was filled with tall, green trees, beds of brightly colored flowers, and well maintained grass. The garden had recently bloomed and flourished with the spring weather. Spring had come early that year.

He only stopped for a moment, but it was long enough to see a little blue butterfly flutter past him, and into the garden. It was gone in seconds. The boy took a deep breath, grabbed his backpack straps in his fists, and continued running to the hospital.

Finally the large white building came into sight. He ran through the doors, and breathlessly checked in with the lady at the front desk. Her eyes that were hidden behind tinted cat eye glasses were wide at the sight of the frail boy with pink cheeks.

"I'm Hoseok, one of the teen volunteers here, here to see Kim Mina today?" He quickly explained.

He was slightly hunched over, breathing heavily while the lady checked the records.

"Ah, Mr. Jung. You know where to go, right?"

"Yes ma'am. She was moved to the operating ward this morning."

The lady gave him a badge and a nod, and he was on his way up the stairs. No time for elevators.

With intense emotion running through his head, he found himself, feet planted, directly in front of the operating room doors.

Kim Mina, Pancreatic Cancer patient ID: #40743

The boy wrung his hands together, biting his lip and shifting his weight back and forth. He had done such a good job at staying positive until this moment, when the fear had finally taken him over.

What will happen?

He had imagined this day so many times. Even dreamed about it. He wondered, is right now a beginning, or an end? The thought of never seeing her smile again, never hearing her laugh, never being there for her when she cried, never having her there for him when he cried, it terrified him. He shook his head and looked down at the floor, where his feet stood, trying their best to hold up his shaky legs.

I have to have hope. I have to have hope. I have to have hope.

He drilled that into himself. Repeating it over and over again, as if it would fix everything.

He stood there lost in thought, for the longest five minutes of his life, until the door opened and a nurse walked out.

The nurse stared at the wide eyed boy with a heart breaking sadness in her own eyes.

"Ah, you must be Hoseok." She said.

"Yes."

She reached forward, placing her hand on his shoulder.

"The surgery was a success. The transplant accepted, but..."

The boys heart dropped straight down to the floor.

"Mina, she- she flatlined. They're working on her still, but it's not looking good."

The boy's knees buckled.

"I'm so sorry. I know you two were very close. You really loved her, didn't you?"

The nurse's eyes were glistening and red. She had never been so touched by one of her patients. She watched the boy struggle in front of her. She saw his eyes shake and his mouth twitch. She was the one who saw the first tear fall.

And that's when he lost it.

He fell down to the floor, his knees harshly hitting the tile. He sobbed, back heaving, lungs forgetting how to breathe. He covered his face with his shaking hands. He felt cold, and alone. His heart fell and broke into a million pieces on the hospital tile floor.

The nurse crouched down and tried to comfort him. Rubbing his back in circles, pulling him into a hug. Even she shed a few broken tears of her own. Her mind was swirling. What is it about these two? She thought. She just continued to hold the boy, then remembered something, and reached into her front pocket.

And with her gentle hand she slipped something into his shaking hands.

A cold, silver butterfly necklace.

He looked at it's blurry form through his never ending tears. It laid spread across his hand lifeless and cold. The chain felt heavy, as if it would fall straight through his hands.

Tears softly fell onto the butterfly, warming it slightly. A loud sob escaped from in his throat as he desperately tried to speak.

"I love you." He whispered, voice cracking and sputtering.

But it wasn't enough.

——

Hey there...

I know this chapter ends in a sad way but,

Please don't leave, please don't stop reading.

It's not over yet.

I promise you.

There are several more chapters.

Don't lose hope.