Make Me or Break Me ✖️Muke

Chapter 27

"Hey Mikey" Bex says softly when the redhead walks in looking worse for wear.

"hey, can we talk?" he asks. she nods ad motions for him to sit in her chair as she gets started doing his hair.

"whats up?"

"Luke told me he loved me. back in school, before i left."

"oh"

"I told him what happened, why i left, why i hated him."

"and you don't know if he said it because he felt bad?" Michael nods.

"everyone can see the way he looks at you, i don't think he was just saying it to say it. especially if his specific words were that he loved you in school not that he loves you now. I know he does, anyone with eyes can see that, i think he's just trying to save his heart a bit of pain by not telling the whole truth there. But Mikey, if you told him the truth, the truth no one else knows, then believe him, because he probably knows that neither of you are emotionally ready to act on those feelings." Michael didn't think of it that way when Luke had said it, but what Bex said sounds right.

"I think im done" he finally admits the real reason for coming to talk to her. she stops her hand movements and spins his chair so he's facing her. she looks at him sternly.

"are you sure?" he takes a breath and nods with his eyes closed.

"when this tour is over, i'm done. I cant do this anymore. I don't know how to tell them though."

"Mikey, let me make one thing clear to you, none of them will be mad that you decided to quit. they will be happy that you are finally taking control of your health and deciding that this life is bad for you."

"is it because of what Luke said?" he finds himself asking.

"what do you mean?"

"is it because he said he loved me? is that why i decided on my way over here that i wanted to quit? because an hour ago i still would rather die than quit touring."

"mikey.. I think quitting would be the best thing for you at the moment. I know that you love music, that it's your escape. but do it for yourself not for anyone else for a while. it's been six years since you were plucked out of Sydney and thrust into touring so give yourself credit, you were 15."

"i was raped. when i was 15 i was raped by a guy who i had a crush on at a party." Bex takes a sharp inhale. but lets him speak.

"Luke had set me up with him, brought me to the party and told me he liked me too. then for some reason i expected him to know how i was feeling when i didn't even tell him what had happened. I was afraid because my mom told me it was my fault, i was afraid he would too or that he wouldn't believe me. so i blamed him, i blamed it all on him, because he set it up, and because i needed someone to blame it on that wasn't myself. and i hated him. i hated him so much for being the reason my whole life changed."

"Mikey. Im so sorry" she pulls him to his feet and into a hug that he melts into. he lets the weight of the world fall from his shoulders as she holds him and lets him cry.

"no matter what anyone said, none of that was your fault. you were 14 and you shouldn't have had any of that happen to you. you were too young to have the horrors of the world exposed to you. i think you need a break, it can be a break or it can be forever, but i think you should fix things with Luke, fix things with yourself and then maybe think about addressing the feelings you share. but only after you are healthy, and i think Luke knows that because he didn't say he loves you now. so hold your head high and go out there and show the world who Michael Clifford is. Show them that you are stronger than they think you are, stronger than you think you are. be the light that your fans need just one more time, before you end it all. Go out with a bang Michael, don't give anyone a reason to think you were anything but an outstanding artist. because that's what you are. " she finishes just in time for the rest of Michael's band to walk into the room, laughing loudly about something.

"oh man Mikey, you missed it!" Ashton gets out between laughs.

"Luke-" Sky starts.

"he, he went to do his jump thing" Raine continues.

" and he didn't notice someone had thrown water on the stage and he completely whipped out" Ash finishes the story. Michael's frown twitches upwards as he chuckles softly.

"what have i kept saying? baby giraffe, literal baby giraffe." the three others laugh at that and Bex squeezes his shoulder.

"you're all set Mikey you can head out and get ready while i do these guys." he nods and silently thanks her. she sends him a thumbs up as he walks out the door.

"i heard you whipped out" Michael says casually as he walks up behind Luke who has his back turned to him while talking to Calum. Calum smirks and walks away as Luke turns to face him with a pout.

"it's not funny! my But hurts. who throws water on stage anyway?"

"ask Harry Styles." Michael smirks, walking away, making Luke stare after him in utter confusion.

~~~

It's later that night that Michael tells Ashton what he talked about with Bex. Although the older is saddened, he is also relieved, because no one will understand the amount of anxiety he goes through on a daily basis because he is afraid Michael might die. He knows that means the end for their band, but he doesn't care, as long as Michael is happy and healthy. he's gone too long worrying about what his band mate might do that he's tired himself.

"when are you going to tell the others?" he voices. Michael shrugs.

"i have to tell Raine and Sky soon, i have to tell them all of it. But i don't think i can tell the others. I don't want anyone to look at me different."

"Michael, no one will-"

"you dont know that. admit it, you look at me with pity now that you know.I don't like people thinking i'm weak."

"i can promise you, no one will think you are weak, they will thin you are one of the strongest people in the world, you will be even more of an inspiration to people than you are now. because anyone who can come out of that situation, and make a name for themselves, because world famous, you are stronger than the people who tried to put you down. you took a bad situation, you took all that pain and resentment, and you turned it into beautiful songs, songs that will be forever, that people relate to, that save peoples lives. You could never be looked at as weak."