We Are Damaged /A Creek fanfic/

Prologue

/feel free to tell me if you find any typos. i'll be glad to correct them./

Another day, another me. Another stupid 24hrs wasted. This is bullshit, everyone is having their time of life, dating, partying and here I am, Craig Tucker. A boring-ass dude who's only trait is that he flips off people.

Well, at least they will remember me for something.

When I'm at school, I look at these assholes I am surrounded with and damn.. I could say I'm envious but I know I just can't admit it. Perfect families, intelligence, looks and popularity. I feel so out of place, like an outcast.

I'm lucky some people tolerate me but the pain still remains, even though they numb it, it's not enough. The pills stopped working, my therapist charges a lot and my parents don't understand. Everything is shit.

I'm whining now, aren't I? I tend to do that when I get some time alone.

I just.. need something. Anything. I need a goal or some sort of.. purpose, I guess. The doc always told me to find new interests or set up some milestone to reach but I always brushed it off. It could actually work out.

...

Nah.

I'm not feelin' it.

I hate the weekends. They give me too much time. Too much alone time. Alone times aren't the best, thoughts just rush over me and that's the worst. Schooldays suck too but at least I have someplace to be.

I'm a failure. A fucking loser.

I can't help this. There has always been something wrong with me, like I was made to be broken and it drives me mad.

I don't know how long can I keep on doing th-

RIIIING

"Shit!" I exclaimed. I looked around to find my phone and picked it up to see who was calling me. It was my great friend, Tweek.

"Yello?" I said after picking up.

"Hey, Craig! Token wanted to know if you wanna go to his place and have a sleepover." Tweek said cheerily. I wish I could be as happy as him.

"Well... I guess.." I exhaled. "What would we be doing?"

Tweek hummed. "We'd play some games on the Ps or Xbox or we could play some Mario Kart on the Wii."

"That's a lot of options." I say sarcastically. I don't really joke around but sarcasm is something I am fine doing with. "How about we'll do them all?"

"Great! I'll tell Token!" Tweek chuckled. "We'll pick you up with the guys soon soooo be ready!"

"Alrighty."

"Bye!"

"See ya."

I hung up. Does he never notice my tone? Did everyone just get used to me being this.. grim? I mean, I never really told them I had issues but it still makes me a bit sad. I guess I'll pack my stuff.

.. Alright, I'm done with packing. What is wrong with me honestly? I want to be normal but at the same time I can't imagine myself to be like the others. It's so weird.

Let's look in the mirror.

Gosh, nevermind. I look like a dead person. Okay, let's just look away quickly before my hideous sight burns into my retina. I'll just wear my cap, I hope it will avert the attention from my face.

DING DONG

Okay. I can do this.

"Hey, dude!" Token greeted me with a hug. Tweek followed and hugged me as well.

"Hi, Craig." Tweek said happily.

I'm glad I have some nice friends,

"Hey guys. Clyde and Jimmy?" I asked, looking around. Tweek and Token chuckled.

"They are already at my place, Jimmy's crutches wouldn't have fit into my car if everyone came at the same time." Token replied.

"Oh, cool." I said in an emotionless tone but they didn't even question it. I know they care about me but....

"Craig?"

"Uh, yeah, Tweek?"

Tweek pulled me outside. "Let's go already." He grinned. I like it when he smiles.

The ride was quick and pleasant. Tweek and Token kept on joking around so I didn't have to talk that much. Some questions hit me but I think I replied with what they wanted to hear. Am I a liar?

We played some games, watched a movie or two, ate popcorn and roasted Clyde. I do not actually know what I would be doing without them. Damn, I'd go crazy. Unless, I've already gone crazy.

"I'll go out for a smoke." I stated with a slightly pained voice and stood up to get my jacket. Novembers can get very chilly.

"W-wait!" Tweek stood up and hurried over to me.

"Yeah?"

"Um.. is it fine if I borrow a cig?" He asked nervously.

Him? Smoking? Why would he do that? He's cheery and happy n' shit.

"..." I sighed and decided not to ask. "Sure."

Tweek sighed too. "Thanks." He said gladly.

We walked outside in silence. I lit my cig and held it near his face so he can light it as well. Tweek leaned closer but his cigarette didn't light. His face expression signaled that he was very confused.

I chuckled. "Inhale." I said while smiling at his innocence.

He blushed from embarrassment - or from the cold - and sucked in some air through the tobacco. He coughed a bit but he managed.

We were smoking in silence but then I couldn't keep my curiosity at bay.

"Why would you of all people smoke?" I asked out of the blue after blowing out some toxic air.

He tensed up.

"W-w-well..." He averted his gaze in shame. Looks like we all have dirty secrets. "I've been feeling very.. anxious lately." He breathed out and instantly put the cigarette back in his mouth. He loosened up after inhaling and exhaling.

"I see." I think there's more to this but I won't insist.

"..."

"..."

"And.. why do you smoke? I never really asked."

I widened my eyes. A question I didn't really expect.

"Um.. I am addicted, I guess." I shrugged.

Tweek frowned. "But why did you start?" He took a drag.

I took a drag too. I seemed calm - well, I tried to seem calm but my mind was racing with possible answers.

"I- uh- well, so." How do I start a sentence? "I- I- I think I started cuz all the cool kids were doing it."

"You were.. the first in our class to smoke, Craig." Tweek looked at me. He seemed concerned.

"Look, it's nothing that important." I brushed his doubts off. I crushed the stub and threw it out. Tweek did the same.

"I've had this feeling that.. you're not really doing well." Tweek whispered but I made the words out.

I looked at him and smiled weakly. "No, I'm not doing well." I confessed. It lifted a rock off my chest to let someone know that my actions are not a facade but my real feelings.

"But then-"

"No." I silenced him. "The guys must be wondering if we've died of cancer yet."

Tweek bit his lip from frustration. "Okay.." He looked at me once again. He looked very sadly in my eyes. I looked away.

We walked inside. We both tried acting like nothing happened outside. Tweek went back to his 'normal' self and I laid low till everyone fell asleep.

I didn't know he was faking his smiles. Does he feel the same way when we don't see his true self?

I want to help him.