We Are Damaged /A Creek fanfic/

XXII - Forest

"So, what brings you here, Craig?" Tweek's father asked after handing me the cup of coffee.

I took a small and careful sip. The taste was similar to Tweek's cappuccino but it still wasn't the same, Mr. Tweak didn't know how I liked it. I set the cup down in front of me.

"To be honest, I was hungry and a bit lonely." I said nonchalantly, trying my best not to let any pain out. Mr. Tweak chuckled.

"Yes, Tweek told us that you're a little too honest and bold for your own good." He smiled at me. "How have you been doing, Craig? It must be hard for you, too." His smile died down.

I looked away and sighed.

I wish I could tell him. I wish I could tell him how shitty I'm feeling, how guilty I am. How worthless I am- yet, I just can't say anything. I am a coward hidden behind a mask but the mask is cracked, some people see through it and it drives me mad.

"It's... it's hard for me too, Mr. Tweak." I said shakily. "I miss him."

We fell silent in the living room. I took sips from the coffee, he eyed me and glanced at the time. I felt a small amount of tension in the air but he soon broke it.

"So you said you're hungry, right?" He smiled at me. "We have soup left in the fridge, I'll warm some up for you."

I was too hungry to decline. "Thank you."

The soup was tasty, there was not much meat in it left but it filled my belly up enough. After I handled the dishes -as I didn't want them to clean up instead of me- I asked him a question:

"When will Tweek come back?"

Tweek's father sighed sadly. "Not soon, I'm afraid."

"B-But like, is there an exact time or is it unknown?"

"Well, when we talked to the experts on the phone and in person, they told us that he'll be away for at least a year. If not more." Tweek's father crossed his arms.

"W-Why?" I questioned.

"Because, Craig, a suicide attempt is... serious. And he harmed himself excessively." He looked away. "They'll have to make sure he's recovered by the time he will have been released."

"I... I understand." I replied. "May I leave? I- we both need some time alone."

"Of course, Craig." He walked me to the door and opened it. "Stay safe out there."

"Thank you, Mr. Tweak."

I stepped off the porch and started walking away.

A year? More?

What- like, two? Or two and a half?

And if he won't get better? Will I never see him again?

He's going to be stuck there because of me. Because I hurt him. Heh, and I had the guts to text him and tell him I loved him. What a pathetic little rat I am. Dad was right.

I'm just a disappointment. Not worthy of living.

I should just die. That would be the best for everyone. Tweek wouldn't have any distractions, the thing between Stan and Kyle wouldn't be this messy, my parents would have it easier...

Yeah, I'm gonna do just that. Go and die.

I sneaked into the forest. It was a bit darker due to the season but I still managed to locate myself in the woods. And if I was an idiot, then I would still have the landmark on my phone. Easy.

I strolled to the lodge and took my heavy keychain out. After finding the right key with my shaky hands, I put it in the lock and twisted it. I stepped inside, closed the door and made my way to the bed. I knelt down next to it and extended my hand under the bed frame. A small chest.

I pulled it out and opened the little wooden box. A neatly-tied rope was laying in there, waiting for me. I took it out and set it down on the table.

I decided to look around the cozy house I've been taking care of for a year now. I really liked the place. Pictures, decorations, lights, candles, random furniture. And most importantly, memories. There were so many memories in here. Sad ones, mostly. Me being cold, depressed and alone. But... after I'd brought Tweek here, the house's overall vision changed in my eyes. He was here how many times? Two? Three?

And it was enough for me. He made it happier. He made me happier.

And what did I do in return? I hurt him, I betrayed him, I lied to him, I made him want to die- god, I should stop this crap already. I'm taking too much time.

I walked out in a hurry. It was getting colder and I wanted to drop dead on the rope before hypothermia kicked in. I didn't really have a plan. I used to, but not anymore. I forgot where I wanted to do it. It was time for improvisation.

I know it's going to be on impulse. I know I would regret it but can you regret anything when you're dead? I don't think so.

I finally found a tree where I would have no problem climbing up to. I didn't waste any time, I started climbing it. When I made it to a quite high branch, I tied the top of the rope to it.

Man, I shouldn't have eaten. Whatever.

I made sure the rope was tightly fixed on the tree. Then, I brought the other side of the rope up-

RING RING RING

"AH FUCK!" I slipped.

I hit the ground with my back. I didn't land on a rock or anything and the snow muffled the impact. Great. I'm sooo 'lucky'.

"What." I picked up. My voice reflected my injuries though. I might have broken a rib or two.

"H-Hey, Craig." It was Kyle. Wohoo.

"What do you want."

"I just wanted to say sorry for the things I said today. Me and Stan talked it out and I realized I've been very rude." He sighed into the phone.

"Meh, it's-" I started coughing heavily. Wheezing, gasping, spitting blood. It was nasty. "IT'S. FINE."

I heard shuffling through the phone. Now, Stan was talking into it.

"What happened?! Where are you?!"

I was about to hang up but I realized that I couldn't really get on my feet. So no suicide today. Maybe I'd die from the cold, but no thanks.

"I'll send you my location."