We Are Damaged /A Creek fanfic/

VII - Scared

"How'd the test go?" I asked Craig after handing him a mug of cappuccino. He sat on my bed and I followed him.

"It was easy. Math is easy, to be honest." Craig explained and took a small sip from the coffee. "Damn, this tastes good."

I heated up. "W-well I have some practice when it comes to coffee. A l-lot, actually."

He smiled sweetly and took another sip. Then, he set it down and took my bandaged hand into his palms carefully. It didn't hurt that much but my body tensed up anyway.

He looked in my eye with a concerned expression. "Why would you- I just-" He sighed. "I want to be there for you and I obviously failed."

"What? No, no, you didn't." I shook my head and protested. "It's me who's the guilty one here. I got embarrassed and I didn't tell you, I broke the deal.." I felt tears collect in my eyes.

I don't want to be a failure to him. I am a complete nuisance in everyone's eyes but not his.. I don't want him to hate me. I could not take it.

"Ahw, Tweek." Craig sighed. "C'mere."

He hugged me tightly and let me cry it out. Like I did in his lodge. That house is so peaceful but Craig told me it's too cold to go there now.. I wish it was Spring already but we haven't even reached Christmas yet.

We cannot get an 'alone time' like that anywhere else. I want to be truly alone with him. Just him and me.. no one else in a hundred meter radius.

"C-Craig." I choked out.

"Yeah?" He whispered in my ear with the most delicate tone a person could do.

I exhaled deeply and took another breath. "Don't leave me. Let's not hate each other. I don't want a fight.. between us. It would devastate me." I said and started crying again.

"It would devastate me too. Another deal?" He caressed my head. I nodded into his chest.

It took a good ten minutes for me to completely calm down but Craig didn't even move an inch. He was there and he made it pretty clear that he will be.

I've never felt this amount of.. trust and love for anyone else before. Mom and dad are great but it could never get this.. intimate. Craig made me feel things I didn't know I could feel. It felt like heaven but it was...

Scary.

Terrifying.

I have a feeling that either of us will fuck up one day, the other does something really stupid and things escalate-

No.

Let's not go there today. He's here now. And I'm here with him.

"Tweeky?" Craig's soft voice brought me back to reality.

"Hmm?" I looked up at him. He smiled weakly.

"You should drink some water and clean your face."

"Y-You're right." I stood up and thanked him silently. I walked into the bathroom to fix myself up.

I shouldn't have looked in the mirror.

"Damn, I look like shit." I sighed sadly.

"No, you don't." Craig surprised me in the doorway. I saw him in the mirror, smiling. He walked inside and put his hands on my shoulders.

"When I look at you.." He started. "I see a cute, innocent-looking dude who has the most perfect smile. Ever."

"Craig-"

"But he makes fake smiles too. Which are pretty but.. not as mesmerizing as the real ones." He kept looking at my face in the mirror.

I felt -and saw- a crimson blush wash over the entirety of my face.

"U-Uh." I looked away.

"T-Too much and too soon?" Craig adjusted his collar. "It's true though."

"I just.. need some time.. to process this much information." I laughed out awkwardly. His test, his concerns, the new deal and now his awfully sweet words.. My heart will fail today surely.

"Alright." He smiled and slid his hands off my shoulder. He flashed a small grin and left me to myself, closing the door after he exited.

I froze for a bit.

So that's what one calls a confession? I mean, he already made it pretty clear that he liked me on Sunday but.. I wasn't ready for words. And he was honest, too.

I know how I feel. Of course I've already fallen for him but-

I'm scared.

He makes me so happy, he takes my pain away but I've never been to a relationship. A good one, at least. I just.. suck at commitment. It's so complex and I've never understood the reasons we argued.

And we're classmates too. I know it works out for some people but.. that's just a vocal minority. These things mostly end up with a heated break-up followed by years-long embarrassment and hatred.

And we already made a deal not to be hateful.

"Goddammit, Tweek." I groaned. I washed my face off with cold water. "Get your shit together."

I'm overthinking. Craig told me not to do that. My mom told me not to do that, my therapist- everyone told me not to do that.

But I still do. I need to control my emotions. My pills need a little help. Some.. positivity.

"Yeah.. just like that." I gave my reflection a small smile and it already made me feel slightly better. I drank a few sips of water and dried myself off.

"I can do this." I said and re-entered my room.

Hey there! Sorry to interrupt, I'm just checking in. I hope you like the story so far :) I appreciate the votes and comments, so please, don't be shy! Love, R_A_S <3