All My Lost Thoughts

▪ Who Love was ▪

So we tucked away our memories in the back pocket of our jeans, carried on with a camera around our neck waiting for what was next. Finding evergreens to carve our names into and watch them slowly fade with age. We’ll find a park bench that sits us both, listening to stories about things that never have and never will. Isn’t that a thrill? You and I planting memories as seeds, nurturing saplings as your own, and watching them grow, carrying on a legacy for another.
Initials carved into wood like ink into flesh. Maybe that’s why my mother told me that I didn’t know best.she told me, “Don’t take minutes and twist and pull them into hours. Love is a lifetime not a couple moments.” But mom I can assure you that I felt love, in that spark of a moment, in the darkness of memories I found love. Love that prepared me for something more. So these words that I carved into myself, my skin, will always be there. Not visible to the blind eye but you and I will know, that your name will be carved into my arm until my body is breed into new life a different body, a different soul, a new name. So when I held your hand walking down that old dirt road that generations had before we’ll see the memories of youth lingering around the fallen leaves and brand new trees, you’ll find to your demise that we never really changed, but maybe that was a good thing. Our thoughts will always be our own, and feelings will only be known by the way our hands slip around around each other, our fingers locking around one another, our hearts being chained together. And I made the mistake thinking that we would be together, chaining my heart and giving you the key. Sometimes I’m so glad you were mine, Looking back on it now you never really hurt me, you only prepared me for reality. The truth that love is amazing and kind and caring but those long nights awake listening to songs that reminded me of you. Now I fall asleep listening to the broken fan and remembering that the fork at the road was a constant reminder that our fingers slipped away from each other and you and I parted ways and left the dirt beaten road for another day. Thank you, without you I would have never found the pieces of myself that were buried long ago. Dormant until one day your winter winds brought me out of my autumn blanket and your summer rays took away my spring rains. But soon enough you found a reason to love Spring rains over the heat, and Autumn days instead of sleet and snow. We both know you've grown and changed, as had I. The park bench we once sat in comfortably is now the home to another pair of hearts. Another good reason on why we’ve grown apart, tears from our eyes showered the flowers we planted long ago. Funny how we plant flowers in the remains of other things, and they grow so beautifully. Think of our relationship as a flower, growing in the remains of those before us, dying and giving new life to another, planting seeds and burying them in broken and long forgotten memories. We are just part of a cycle a couple of broken memories saved for another day.