"Guilt": A Poem Book

Disrespect

Part 2 of "I can't Believe"

Disrespect is want I feel right now and that moment that happen today

Why do you keep disrespecting me?!

You once said to me that your friends don't talk to you because, of you.

I can see why now

When I saw your so call "friend" walking up to us I didn't feel good in my stomach

I felt suffocated

I guess you didn't notice like always

I keep "crawling back to you~" like Alex Turner says.

But I don't want to, but there's something in me telling me to just stay and it will all get better

But

It doesn't what so ever

You keep brushing my feelings off. And that's your problem. You may seem "considerate of others". But that's all for show.

You think by putting your filthy hand there that it was alright and I wouldn't think of anything of it. Well your dead wrong!!!

I told you way before this happened that I don't like to be treated so cheap or disgusted like that.

I almost feel sorry after what I'm about to say. And it pains me to say it really. I fear it may trigger something inside of you to push you far enough to agony and horrid thoughts.

But. I'm going to act like you for a second.

Your disgusting.

Disgusting.

I keep putting your "sad" feelings  over mine, but I have to be selfish for just a moment.

I'm sick and tired of your recklessness. I'm weary myself thin, because of YOU.

I feel like that first poem didn't reach you far enough through your cystic fibrosis soul that I might leave you like your friends because, of your actions.

You must learn how to treat a person like me. I'm not like these infidelity people that don't sincerely care about people. I keep pushing my feelings back from committing the crime of murder. I feel disgusted with myself if I commit the crime.

I might emotionally cheat on you. My body might not, not physically, but mentality I might so do it.

But I'm doing the exact same thing like your doing in a way. How I see it.

I will confess hurting people is something I try not to do.

I'm starting to feel like my old self now. It's funny really how gradually or exhilarating I'm changing how I act being with you. It's fun. It's excitingly tormenting!!!

...

I'm still young like you.

Young, but not dumb like you.

I need to stop thinking about you. You must feel HAPPY when I said that. If you do then I was right.

...

I will say for sure to not rinse your hand to the devil. To be called.

Rinse your hand to the holy heavens and wait to have a angel to hold your hand while your still on Earth. Because I still want to see your face every day even though, I might not talk to you or be as talkative and close to you. Your warmth was a blessing and a curse.

You don't respect me.

But I must learn to not be with someone that don't respect me. As my years growing up I've seen some relationships crumble and blossom like the  Japanese cherry blossom tree.

It's so beautiful...

I try to help protect the cherry blossom tree of their
relationship, not all, but some because I'm tired of witnessing pain that both partners go through. This is my second time experiencing it.

"My patience is a virtue, so take it in consideration.... "

...

Have fun and carry on.