"Guilt": A Poem Book

Sweet Home

He said, "Blood smells thicker on rainy days." And he was right.

I've been noticing tiny cuts on my fingers lately and the last cut on my finger was deeper than I thought. I didn't think the knife cut that deep, it felt like an itch that quickly went away. No pain occured until later on in the day.

My mind was numb so my pain receptors were numb. I felt content that day with little worries. I smiled on the inside with a graceful smirk on my face cutting the sweet potatoes with a knife I thought was dull. I guess not based on the aftermath.

When I get hurt physically I distract myself by either slamming that part of body on something or act like it doesn't hurt.

I am very content with the coping mechanism I developed over the years.

Not many people know I do this. Not many people know I'm hurt physically unless I show it. I feel like screaming from pain is a nuisance and must be silence immediately. But I also feel like people react to the pain that way to distract themselves from the pain they are feeling, it's another form of release.

Releasing yourself from something gives you a sense of security and freedom like individual rights. I wish I had true rights. But I've realized I'm still privileged, to extent, based off the circumstances.

I've tasted blood twice in my life when I was a kid. I was inspired by the movie Scream when the killer licked fake blood from his fingertips. He said, as I quote, "It taste like strawberries." So when I pulled my tooth out my mouth, it was a loose tooth, I wondered as a kid if it actually tasted like strawberries so I sucked on the blood pouring from my gums twice. In conclusion, it did not taste like strawberries. It tasted sweet at first but later on it left a salty after taste.

When I see blood I don't get scared I get curious. Wondering why are we as humans in all aspects of the word fragile. Why? Blood comes shining from just a tiny cut deep enough to create an opening for it to pour and fall. Why must we be fragile?