Upon arriving home, I notice that my father's vehicle is in the front yard. I almost don't want to go inside and face him after what happened this morning, so instead I decided to take a walk over to the nearby lake. It was about half a mile down the road. I love going there, it's usually the spot I go to do all of my writing and thinking after a long day, and it's been quite the day.
As I walk the quiet streets of my neighborhood, the sun starts to set, giving me some of the most picturesque sights. The way the sun's light glares behind some of the adjacent houses, leaving only their silhouettes, makes it look as if I'm walking through a town of shadows. Trees cast ominous images on the ground stretching from one side of the road to the next. The sun's rays bouncing off of the mirrors on nearby cars, it truly is a beautiful sight to see. I can see the lake now, it's only but a few more yards away, and the water looks absolutely gorgeous with the sunset gleaming off of it.
As I approach the lake, I take a seat on the wooden pier and stare out into the open water. So many things run through my mind, so I decide to write them in the journal I keep in my backpack
Monday, April 12th, 2017
Dear Diary, what a day today. Saying I'm still in the mood I was in when I woke up this morning is sadly a lie now. I feel as if I've been put through the ringer, and everything is coming at me at once. First, it started with Dad verbally assaulting me, then leaving as he always does. In a way, I've grown used to him walking out, for some reason he always comes back though. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't afraid to go home; if he's been drinking again, I shudder at the thought of what may happen. Then there's the news of Monica leaving Wednesday to go pursue her musical career.
While I'm so happy for her and wish her only the best, I can't help the pain in my heart from knowing the person I grew up with is going to be moving so far away. Will I ever see her again? Will she have time for me? But I need to look at the Brightside of things. Grandpa is coming home Friday. I can't wait to tell him everything that's been going on, hear some of his stories from back in the days, and just be in the presence of someone so inspiring and who's played such an integral role in my life.
And then there's Jesse, my ray of light, the only reason I can still keep my sanity in check. The reason I smile every morning when I wake up, and the reason I go to bed smiling. The first and last thought on my mind every day, my beacon of hope in the darkest days. I don't know what I would do without him to be honest, I couldn't picture a life without him, if I even would still have a life. I feel happy at some points, sometimes I feel down, sometimes I feel like I'm drowning, but I always persevere through it. I just accept that sometimes I have bad days and some are good days, and despite everything that has happened today, I have to admit it wasn't a horrible one. Let's just hope this week can start looking up.
As I finish writing, I peer down into the lake. I see my reflection distorting in the slight riffles of the water. The water is so deep, so unforgiving, so eternal. There would be no way back for someone who entered the lake, not even if they tried. As if the water would grasp you and never let go, even though you were free the entire time. What would happen, if I walked into the water...
Sorry. Just, had a moment. If you don't mind, I kind of want to be alone for now, I just feel more relaxed sometimes when it's just me. I'll talk to you when I get home.
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Well, I'm home again. Before I enter, I press my ear up against the door in an effort to hear if my dad is doing anything, but it's silent. Slowly, I turn the knob and push the door open gently. The sound of snoring fills my ears as the door opens fully. He's on the sofa asleep. the smell of alcohol assaults my senses as I walk through the living room and up to my room, where I shut the door quietly behind me; then proceed to collapse in my bed. As I fight off the urge to close my eyes and fall asleep, I remember I have to send Jesse a goodnight text. I've sent him one every day that we've been together, and he's always answered back. It's our way of letting each other know that were each other's last thought before going to bed. It says-
"Hey sweetheart, I hope you're having a great night at work. I'm going to head to bed, I've had a long day today. I can't wait to see you in the morning! Goodnight, I love you"
He replies.
"Goodnight sweetheart, you too"
I close my eyes and let my mind wonder happy thoughts tonight. Tomorrow is another day. Goodnight...
Sleep tight dear, don't let the monsters get you..
YOU ARE READING
To End Heartache
Short StoryFollowing a traumatic event, Sam and her father move houses and into a new town where they wish to start a new life; looking to escape the debilitating memories of the last year. But they did not come alone, and now Sam is plagued by constant night...
