Arranged / Nick Mara

Chapter Eighteen / Broken

Nick's POV

I laid in my bed with the covers up to my nose. I was still crying even after a week of Kiley and I breaking up.

I'm so incredibly hurt and I feel like kind of a douche for not letting her talk, but she cheated on me!

I know I didn't talk to her on tour but it was only because I was fucking terrified and extremely busy. I knew I was in love with Kiley and I was so scared. God I was so terrified she would not feel the same way. I love absolutely everything about her, and I also didn't want to accidentally tell her over the phone because that's fucking stupid. I know those are dumb reasons but they're mine. And then the moment I saw those pictures I knew I couldn't talk to her. I couldn't bring up the courage and I couldn't stand to even hear her voice. I was beyond mad. I was broken.

And now here I am, even more broken because my girlfriend allegedly cheated on me, which she denied, but I can't tell. The pictures looked so real and she looked into it. I want to talk to her but I also don't want to be the first one to crack. Thank you stubbornness.

Kiley's POV

I sat in the living room on the couch watching Teen Wolf, crying as per usual. The whole past week I had been crying out of anger, hurt, and just pure sadness.

I was so mad at Nick for being so selfish and not letting me speak. I was also hurt he would actually think I would willingly cheat on him. It was hurtful to know he thought I would do something like that. I missed him like crazy. I missed his stupid toothy grin and his beautiful voice. I missed his strong hands holding me as we watched tv and I missed his goofiness that would make me swoon for days. I missed his obsession with Chris Brown and his sweet gestures that he would do just to see me smile. I knew he was in love with me, and the scary think was I was pretty sure I was in love with him too.

But I wasn't going to be the one to crack and call him because I have nothing to apologize. So I sat there, broken as ever, in my own pity party, getting lit on sadness.

<~>

Nick's POV

"Okay c'mon it's been two weeks you need to call her and let her explain." Edwin said from my doorway.

"Why? You know something I don't?" I asked with narrow eyes.

"Yes I do. But you need to talk to her Nick. You're miserable." He rolled his eyes.

"No I'm not..." I said and looked in the mirror. Yes I was miserable.

"Shut up. You know you fucked up by not letting her talk and you know you miss her like crazy. Just go talk to her. I'm sure she's just as big of a mess as you." Edwin said and I thought about it for a minute.

"Should I just show up to her house?" I asked and Edwin smiled.

"Yes just go for it. Nick, go get your girl." Edwin said.

"If it turns out she actually did cheat on me i will never speak to you again." I scowled at Edwin as I pulled on a pair of vans on my floor. I was wearing sweats and a sweatshirt and my hair was a mess. I had bags under my puffy eyes and I looked dead inside, but I didn't care. Edwin was right, I needed to go get my girl back.

I drove the familiar route to Kiley's house, with clamy hands. I was nervous as hell and scared she would refuse to talk to me. I parked my car in the driveway and walked up to the door. I stood there for a moment, working up the courage to knock. I took a few deep breaths and slowly knocked on the door.

30 seconds went by before the door creaked open. I looked down to see Kiley, wrapped in a blanket with red eyes. She looked like she had been crying.

"No." she said just as she saw me a tried to close the door, but I stopped it with my hand.

"Kiley I'm sorry. Please can we talk?" I asked and she hesitated.

"How do I know you won't just be a completely dick to me yet again?" she asked and my heart sank because I knew she was right.

"Kiley I promise, please I miss you." I begged.

"You also promised to call me on tour-"

"Kiley, can I please come in?" I asked and she finally opened the door to reveal her small body and bloodshot eyes. Her hair was in a messy braid down her back and she was barefoot. There was food on the coffee table and a paused episode of Teen Wolf on the tv.

"Come in." She said and closed the door behind me. I sat down on the couch and she slowly came and sat on the other side of the couch.

"Okay, Kiley, I'm so incredibly sorry. I was completely wrong to not let you speak and it was so douchey of me to avoid you on tour. The truth is... I was so scared to talk to you because I was falling so hard so fast and I was just so scared of what would happen if I talked to you even just once. And then when I saw those pictures it just crushed me and I couldn't even bear to hear your voice without crying." I said my speech and she nodded.

"I didn't cheat on you. Max is an old friend from high school and he was here on business and so we decided to meet up a couple times. The last time we met up he kissed me and I pushed him off of me right away and grabbed the girls and left. I'm sorry I didn't tell you I was going to see him and I'm sorry I didn't see the pictures and call you. Once you started avoiding me I literally didn't even pick up my phone for anything because I didn't see a reason in talking to anyone if you weren't going to talk to me. I wish you would've let me talk because we could've avoided all this. But I was so appalled you would even think I would cheat on you and so livid you would not even give me the time of day that I didn't think you deserved to even heard the truth." She explained and I saw tears form in her eyes, making them appear in mine too.

"Baby, I'm so sorry. I trust you. I don't know why I just cut you off on the day we came back like that and I'm so so sorry. You did not deserve that back lash after me ignoring you for 2 months for no reason. God I understand why you would not want me back, but baby I need you." I said through tears. "Kiley I love you. I love you so much I would do absolutely anything for you to forgive me. God, Kiley you got me so whipped. You make me weak by just doing the smallest thing. You're so incredibly beautiful and you're just so funny and genuine and this amazing person. I cannot live without you baby girl, you mean the absolute world to me and I just love you so much."

I sobbed and held onto her hand. She cried too and scooted closer to me.

"You don't have to say anything back because I totally understand why would would not feel the same way-"

"Nick I love you so much. You have no idea. God Nick you're literally ruining my life because I cannot function without you by my side." She sobbed and I pulled her closer to me. I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her in for a hug. I hugged her so tight I was scared I might have kept her from breathing. I cried happy and guilty tears into her neck and she pulled away enough so we could face each other.

"Why are you crying?" She asked and wiped my tears away.

"Because I feel so bad for making you feel that way. I'm mad at myself for being the guy I don't want to be, especially towards you." I explained and she held my face in her hands.

"I forgive you Nick." She said and I closed my eyes and nodded, thankful to hear those words.

"Thank you so much." I said and opened my eyes to look in hers. I slowly pressed my lips against hers, missing this from the past 3 and a half months of my life.

"God I missed you." She said as I pulled away and rested my forehead against hers.

"I missed you too, so much." I said and smiled at her.

"Look at us, we're a mess." Kiley said and wiped her own tears away with a laugh.

"Yeah but we're a hot mess." I said and she giggled, pulling me in for another hug and I pulled her into my lap.

A/N: DOUBLE UPDATE!!! i couldn't leave them fighting and i wish i could make them fight longer but i just can't ugh

also you guys should check out my other works! I have a Brandon book called High School and an Edwin book called San Francisco. I also have a Zion book on the way and an imagines book in the works right now!!