Today was an ordinary day,at least that is what I thought. I were on our way to college with Zac and Bea as usual however I sat in the passenger's seat this time, thanks God. Zac's eyes never left my face from the passenger's mirror making my cheeks blush feeling so conscious about myself.
He is becoming very confusing lately and I'm finding it worrying honestly, like the calm before the storm waiting for the right time to erupt and scare my already weak heart. I'm actually saying these things because he has stopped harassing me since like a week and honestly he's not acting like his usual self. Maybe he will finally accept me in his life, my mind thought feeding myself with false hope. I know I am not forced into this but I am starting to regret it due to my insecurities. I don't know what have I been thinking that he will change for me reaally! How can I put my future in the hands of a guy I literally don't know well, all what I know is that I have a crush on him. In addition to this the fact that he is the only Muslim I found in this Islamophobic country made me more secure.
"So Dii how does it feel like to soon be the bride of my cousin," Bea said with a teasing smile plastered on her face.She knows I get shy and red whenever he is talked about yet she keeps doing it. She even started telling me what to do on our first wedding night once and I told her to f*cking calm down because this will never happen you know and I don't why what I said triggered her to laugh like a gorilla while saying we will see about that. I swear she is intolerable sometimes-sorry my bad, I mean all times!
"Great!" I said coldly looking outside the window though my cheeks are flaming and my inside was erupting with butterflies.
"I can't wait for this to happen!!" she let out a child-like squeal.
I put my face in my hands embarrassed from her stupid behavior then lifted my head to find Zac with a sarcastic smirk stamped on his face clearly enjoying the sight of me be flustered. I couldn't do anything but scowl at him then turned my face away saving myself from further embarrassment.
I connected Bea's aux cable to my phone to get rid of these tense vibes that are suffocating me already.
"What are you doing?" Bea asked.
"As you can see I'm putting some music since it's taking too long to reach school," I answered her sarcastically.
I put my favorite song for Chase Atlantic-Swim. Ughh I love it, you probably are asking who's Chase Atlantic but all what I can say is that they're the definition of AMAZİNG!
The moment I played my mind was stolen from me travelling to the song and I started singing and swaying like crazy..
I bet you feel it now,baby
Especially since we've only known each other one day But,
I've got to work shit out, babyI'm exercising demons, got 'em running 'round the block now
Location drop, now
Pedal to the floor like you're running from the cops now
Oh, what a cop out
You picked a dance with the devil and you lucked out
The water's getting colderLet me in your ocean, swim
Out in California,
I've been forward stroking, swim
So hard to ignore ya', 'specially when I'm smoking, swim
World is on my shoulders
Keep your body open,swim
I'm swimming, I'm swimming, I'm swimming, yeahI'm swimming,
I'm swimming, I'm swimming, yeah
Out in California,
I've been forward stroking,swim
So hard to ignore ya', keep your body open, swim
"Wow that's intense,Dii I didn't know you had that bad side in you" Bea remarked.
"Haa what are you talking about?" I asked not understanding what she's implying.
"The song is full of dirty meanings and personally it's making me feel hot!" she stated and Zac coughed but I ignored his existence( jk I'm totally aware of it).
"Why do you feel hot when all what he's talking about is swimming...ohhh they say the f-word but like come on all song have the f-word in them let me check!" I said in deep thought then looking at Bea who had a bewildered face.
Then all of a sudden I find Bea clutching her stomach due to her uncontrollable laughter and Zac had an Oh-so-appealing smile on his carved face while his glistening eyes were on me making me forget for a moment that maybe this smile is in fact mocking me.
"What's soo funny?" I ask a teary eyed Bea completely oblivious of what's funny.
"Basically you're right he wanted to swim but to be more specific" Zac paused when I put my eyes in his icy, blue, and mocking ones waiting for the answer,"-He wanted to swim inside her," he drawled shamelessly while raising his head a bit making his jawline point out.
It took me a complete 5 minute to understand what he was referring to exactly and when it rang a bell and I wish it didn't understand because this made my face turn betroot. Zac, on the other hand, was aware and satisfied of my agitated state therefore smirking his signature and attractive smirk which made my hands itch to slap it out of his face.
"I-I-I d-d-didn't m-m-m__" my tongue buckled making me forget what I wanted to say.
"Cat caught your tongue" he taunted teasingly.
"I guess this is enough taunting for now Zac! you know that the girl didn't know stop pestering her!"Bea defended me and I was really grateful for that since I found speaking a very hard task to do at this moment.
"You don't even know her Bea...you should be careful for she might be a snake...or a slut you never know!" He cruelly stated as if I was nowhere near them.
I wanted to slap him for real this time however was stopped by the sudden impact of Bea's legs on the break sending me flying back away from Zac.
"WHY ARE YOU FUCKING MARRYING HER THEN!" Bea screamed angrily continuing her driving.
"I have no f*cking choice and you f*cking know that!" He said clenching his jaw making the veins on his neck pop out.
"Bea can you stop the car," I said in a pleading voice croaking.
"Dii_" Bea wanted to argue but I interrupted saying, "Please" I was desperate that she understands.
"Do you even know the way it's thirty minutes walking distance" Bea tried convincing me however in vain. I was deeply insulted to the point that I didn't want to listen to her or anyone.
"Let her go...that's what she's good at running" Zac ridiculed me.
"Bye Bea," I went out completely ignoring what he said in the spite the fact that it stabbed my heart deeply.
I cried the whole way to the university because of state of confusion and hurt I was in which was caused by one person who's a complete stranger to me but at the same erupts many feelings I thought were non-existing in my heart. Why is he hurting me, I cannot find a sensible explanation behind his actions. How can I marry him but at the same time how can I tell Alex I will back away especially after taking care of my mother. I feel emotionally pressured to marry Zac and at this moments it is suffocating me and making my sobbing intensify because I have a crush on him however he is like a sweet poison to me. You like it's taste but every time you taste it and enjoy it's taste it hurts you more.
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AN/How was it? I would love to read your feedbacks <3
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metanoia /ˌmɛtəˈnɔɪə/
Romance(Previously known as veiled) metanoia /ˌmɛtəˈnɔɪə/ noun change in one's way of life resulting from penitence. What would you do if you find yourself being forced to face life and it's vicissitudes all alone? You might find yourself lucky at times ho...
