BLISS || An ASAP Rocky story||

13

Rakim

How do i tell her i killed my son to be wife and child that i also kidnaped? This the shit that make me over think.

"Well, ill start with my fucked up life. Im the only child. Ive always been the kid from Harlem to sit by himself and exclude themself from everything in school. Since i was like that, i was picked on very easily and i was in fights a lot from 1st grade to 10th when i just gave up and dropped out." I began to rub Isis back. I felt her look up at me and even in the dark, she could be the most purest thing.

"The reason i was the secluded child i was, was because my i didn't have the guidance of a father figure so i didn't have the right path. And also because my mother. I hate that bitch." I etched out. My heart began to speed up. Jesse never asked these questions because our families past never mattered. Now that I'm with Isis, i feel closer like i have to tell her shit.

"My mother was a crackhead. The best in Harlem. I'd come home from school to see her with powder on her nose and bags of crack on the table with lines of it right beside it. It got to the point where i started to steal some of it when she was out of it and sell it just because i was so hungry. You'd never expect a 9 year old to sell drugs. After a while, it got easier and was doing it just because i didn't want to be in the house with my mother and her crack friends. A year after selling, i had witnessed my mother snort crack and give herself to any man willing to have sex with someone who'd do anything for a line. I met Ferg in the process." I said. I throat began to form a ball and i let it. I have never told anyone this stuff. I felt Isis tense up after i said Ferg. He became my little big brother.

"Ive known Ferg for Twenty years and theres still things that i haven't known about him until last night. He's lost all respect from me. I apologized for any of the shit he's caused you." I apologized. I felt obligated like i had too.

"Anyway, after meeting him, i was in trouble less but not all of the time. I was always at his house and his parents were mine and siblings were mine. I finally felt like i belonged. Until one day, i had joined a gang. Stupidest decision of my life til this day along with many others. In the gang, you got jumped in and you had to kill someone." I forced out. Tears finally came down my face and my voice became vulnerable. Ive never cried around no one.

"There was this man that had a high status in Harlem and anyone to fuck with him had to die. It was a must. One day, the gang sent me on my first mission. I was eleven about to commit a murder. I walked into the abandoned building alone with a heavy pistol on my right hip and 4'1 height straight with the thought of death on my mind. I seen the guards past them when they weren't looking. It was easy to get through. I walked into a room that was filled with adults having a party with strippers, coke, crack, and every drug you can think of in one room. I walked into the back hallway into room hat had the words "Occupied" on it." I felt Isis rubbing my braids now that i was now on her chest and my arms around her body. Safety.

Her shirt was now wet from my tears and my head was wet from her tears. Why did she care so much?

"I walked into the room to see him and saw that he was getting sloppy from some crack whore and kissing a stripper. Her looked down at me and told the girls to get out. He got up and pulled his pants up and put a shirt on. I pulled the gun out as soon as the girls got out. "What you gonna do with that gun? Kill me?" Is what he said as he walked over to the bar that was inside the room, laughing. My hand got heavy from the weight of the gun that was in my hand. "I could be your father if you put that gun down. The way that you holding that gun just shows that you have no home training." He took that gun from me and held it to my head. He ended up taking me home and staying with my mother and i. Supplying her needs and other feins with drugs. Sean will always be the man i despised."