a change of a human//Levi Ackerman x Ghoul! reader

running thoughts

"kenny what kind of training is this?" i ask looking at the two guns i had in my hands."do i even need this?" i look at kenny who was looking at his knife.his expression was...depressing.i cringed and shook my head

"follow the leader akria.this should be interesting"

i slap my face and groaned."is EVERYTHING interesting to you?" he looks up then back at me.

"not everything, death is interesting, caused by you of course" 

timeskip

i sat against the wall, staring at the guns i had in my hands."how long has it been..since i held a gun?"i mumbled.i clench my hand, a small click from the tigger.i held it in front "bang bang" i pointed the gun at my head, at my forehead."not human anymore" i drop my hands down and looked at the high ceiling.a sudden slam then loud crashing sounds, getting louder.i stood up and watched as the barrel rolled to the ground.in the corner of my eye i noticed sasha pointing her flaming arrow at the barrel.

i quickly moved to the other side of the piller, a loud boom then everything went crazy."wow akria you're smarter to smell the gunpower and oil.but why didn't you warn anyone about it" yamori leaned towards me.

"why should i?" hearing more bangs and cries of those who were shot.i started feeling dizzy, my hand reached for my forehead.

"that damn docter.such a lier" my body dropped against the pilliar, my legs grew tired and weak.i fall to the ground."hey just don't lose control.it'll be bad enough if you do" my vision started to get blurry and dark."akira you'll die if you fall asleep.i won't save you" my eyes grew more heavy as more time passed by.i let out a final breath then my eyes closed.

-

"lets see if you learned anything.remember where we meet up at" i rolled my eyes, i jumped in the air and jumped on the roof.

"yeah yeah, now go away before i get caught because of you" i jumped on the next building.using the wires i jumped and the wires attached a far wall.the gas pushed me towards it.feeling the air hit my face and the voices of annoying people.feeling my mask sliding off, i push it back in place.i held my arms and feet out, catching the wall.i threw myself to the air again.i look back, no one was following me.

i shook my head "no way in hell i lost them" suddenly i was shoved to the ground.i landed face flat on the ground with a man on top, holding me down.more guys jumped around and started shooing the crowd of people surrounding me."get the hell off of me!" i yelled as i struggled to escape.why in the hell did i not pack a small knife!?

my eyes caught yamori on a nearby roof."YOU BASTARD!" i yelled at him, he shook his head before jumping away.i growled "get the hell off of me, you son a of a bitch!" i yelled.suddenly someone jumped in front of me."go to hell!" i yelled.the guy grabbed my arms and pulled me off from the ground."finally my face was hurting!" the guy made me face the person who jumped in front of me.

i narrowed my eyes "you!" i wanted to attack him, damn this guy who is behind me.i throw my head down before slamming it into the guy's face.i fall forward, i picked myself up and looked at him.i clench my teeth and threw a punch to the ground."where the hell were you?!" i yelled at him.

i threw myself off the ground and ran towards him.i held my fist back, ready to throw a punch.people in uniform got ready to attack but he held his hand up."stand back" a cry escaped my mouth, i threw a punch but quickly the strengh left when i felt warmth and comfort surrounding me.his arms were wrapped around me, pulling me close to his chest.

"i'm sorry" i clench my teeth

 "why did you have to go?" i grab his jacket and held it in my hands."why didn't you come back?" 

"i'm sorry" i felt a lump in my throat then i felt water run down my my face.

"damn you erwin" i muttered, shoving my face into his chest.

"i'm sorry "

-

how did my life get to this?everything was fine until i was found by yamori.then i was found by erwin a few years later.and now..wow i changed so much.i went from a the hero to the villian.am i both? am i the villian?hero?side characters?who am i?i don't know anymore.i forgot  how it is being human, to eat candy, to feel pain and wait a few months for it to heal.i forgot emotions too, am i a robot?why do i have bad luck?

why can't i have a story where the love of my life confesses his feelings to me then we live happily ever after.oh yeah, no one in this world has that story.with titans and ghouls roaming around, it's impossible for someone to have a great romantic story.they either die early, or they lose their chance for a happy ending.i just wish i can read all day without a care in the world.i want the books to take me away forever, not only for a few hours a day, forever.i don't like this world, no one has a happy ending.even if someone tries so hard.why is my fanasy so much better then the real thing?and why does it have to be fake?

it's funny how i love to read tragedy books, but i wish to be in a romantic novel.but instead i am put in a tragedy story as the main character.is this karma?nah, maybe a thriller?horror?supernatrual?maybe all, i don't know.i'm not the author, i can't write my own story.i just play the role i am put in.but why am i given people around me, why did the author make me so close to others?to make me feel gulilty?to learn a lesson?why did levi have to be in my story?he should be in a different one, a much better one.i wish better for him yet, i want him to stay with me.i want everyone to stay with me.i hate being alone.but also i don't want to be the bad characters, i don't want to be the villian while someone else is the hero.

but for sure, if you came for a corny love story, you came to the wrong place.here, there ain't a corny love ending, there might be love but sure as hell, it won't be corny like in novels.i bet when i finally get levi, i'll be dying.

i won't be surprised