a change of a human//Levi Ackerman x Ghoul! reader

unlocking a memory

i stood in front of my mother who was crying her eyes out with a wine bottle in her hand."this is your fault!" she yells throwing the bottle at me.it hit the wall, missing me but the glass pieces flew around, cutting my skin on my arms and face.as every other child, i wanted to cry but i didn't for a few reasons.one she might throw another bottle, and she might not miss.in her state, is she touches me, she will beat me until i can't move.second, i know this is my fault.

"why do i have to deserve a child like you!you worthless piece of crap!you don't deserve to be loved!!"

-

i stood still, not being able to believe what is happening.another cold breeze blew, i didn't feel cold, instead i felt warm."levi?" he only hummed against my shoulder.

"what are you doing out here?"i felt his arms loosen but quickly tighten around me.i grabbed his arms and took it off of me."go back or you'll get eaten or catch a cold" at the same moment grey clouds covered the moon, limiting the light.

i look up at the sky then back down.i let out a sigh, moving my feet to get away from levi."i-if you walk away then i-i'll-" i stopped, waiting for what he'll say."i-i'll never forgive you" i stared at the brown dirt on the ground.is it me, or is his voice more softer?no shakey then normally.

i turned around, i stood still when i noticed his figure.his hair wasn't straight, it was messy and a bit curly.this clothes were wrinkled, but his eyes.his eyes looked different from the photo, it looked pink and dead and large bags under his eyes.

but anyways they become friends but ever since kenny came into the story.he has been looking more restless then before

i let out a small laugh."forgive me?" i look up at him.a small smile grew on my face "i don't deserve to be forgiven by you nor loved by you.i don't even deserve to be seen by you" i look back at the ground.not wanting to see his face.I noticed his body moving forward but he was startled by the sudden thunder.a few seconds later, water started falling from the sky

"hey-"

i look up at him "no.you back and get some sleep, you look dead-" 

"will you come back too?"i  looked away and covered my mouth with my hand.i ysed my other hand to push my wet bangs back. i shook my head "why not?we are planning for the next expedition-" 

"cancel it.going out there now, isn't safe.go tell erwin that you might be killed by doves or ghouls" i turned back around.i clench my hand that held the suitcase.

"tell me him yourself!come back!please" i turned my head back at him.

"just don't forget who i was before.i'm s-sorry levi." My voice cracked.why now?why does my feelings have to show now?at a time like this?

"if you walk away then i won't-" he was cut off by another thunder sound.I used this moment to escape, I jump on the roof and looked down at him

"then don't" without looking back i walked away, ignoring his calls.

Short timeskip

i stood in a alleyway, trying to not to be heard.i let out screams with my mouth covering my mouth, muffling the sound.

"go die in hell!"

"you worthless piece of shit!"

"i should give you away!"

"you don't deserved to be loved"

i let out a loud scream in pain and grabbed my hair as my mother words repeated in my head.over, and over, and over again.a sudden appearing of a burning sensation grew on my back.it suddenly popped, letting my kagune escape and swinging without control, breaking everything around me.i fall to my knees, I took one last scream then i hit the wet muddy ground face first, knocked out.

"Your kagune is really pretty, the colors so bright.remember you are the bridge between humans and ghouls.i am so proud to have you as my daughter"
-
"strange isn't she?she believes i made her into full ghoul, really she is just that strong.it thought it was impossble for a half ghoul to become a full ghoul.but to be honest, when i looked at her, she had no frames to keep her steady or in control."
-
"you look so pretty when you are sleeping, strange that is coming from me, the emotionless captain"
-
"now i see why you take a interest in her, yamori.are you going to eat her?" 

"of course i found her, i raised her to be the best killer and ghoul.so i deserve to eat her, of course after the battle between humans and ghouls, i'll eat her.so either way, she dies in vain"

"she should be put in Aogiri instead.kaneki found her already, i can already tell he is going to take her in for his own thing,what was it again?goat?"

"you worry too much.akria here isn't a fan of peace or love.her mother showed her what love can do.and that short man, he proved to her that he will never love her.so that won't happen for sure"

"whatever you say"

(if you are confused this is meant to be what yamori and that docter were talking about when y/n was passed out during her 'surgrey'.i made it like a coma, like she couldn't more or talk but was able to hear what is happening around her.she didn't remembered it but now she like unlocked it and now remembers it.and i know this is crappy, sorry.)